Be the Bison: Facing Blended Family Challenges Head-On

Cows, Bison, and Blended Families

At first glance, cows and bison appear very similar.

Both are large grazing animals. Both belong to the same biological family. Both live in herds, eat grass, and can withstand a variety of weather conditions. In fact, they’re so closely related they can even interbreed.

However, one significant difference separates them.

When cows sense a storm approaching, they tend to move away from it.

Unfortunately, because the storm is often moving in the same direction, they can spend a prolonged period caught in the bad weather.

Bison respond differently.

When a bison herd sees a storm approaching, they instinctively turn and move directly into it. By facing the storm head-on, they often pass through it more quickly and spend less time enduring its harsh conditions.

Whether or not every detail of this popular illustration is scientifically perfect, the lesson remains powerful.

Every Family Faces Storms

That difference between cows and bison offers an important lesson for stepdads and blended families.

Every family experiences storms. The healthiest families aren’t those that avoid storms altogether – they’re the ones that learn to navigate them together.

For blended families, those storms may include loyalty binds, parenting disagreements, financial pressures, communication challenges, difficult ex-spouse relationships, or the emotional struggles that naturally accompany family transitions.

When these challenges arise, it’s tempting to avoid them. We may hope that enough time will solve the problem or that someone else will address it. Sometimes we convince ourselves that discussing the issue will only make things worse.

Unfortunately, unresolved problems rarely disappear on their own.

A minor misunderstanding can become resentment. A communication problem can become emotional distance. A disagreement between spouses can grow into division if it’s ignored long enough.

Healthy stepdads learn to be more like bison than cows.

That doesn’t mean becoming argumentative or confrontational. Rather, it means having the courage to address issues with patience, wisdom, and grace. It means initiating difficult conversations when necessary. It means listening carefully before reacting. It means seeking counseling or outside help when circumstances require it.

Most importantly, it means refusing to allow fear, discomfort, or uncertainty to determine the direction of the family.

The Rewards of Facing Problems Early

When blended families confront problems rather than avoid them, several positive things happen.

First, trust grows. Family members learn that difficult conversations can occur in a safe and respectful environment.

Second, resentment has less opportunity to take root. Concerns are addressed before they become major conflicts.

Third, children learn valuable life skills. When they observe adults working through disagreements respectfully, they develop healthier approaches to handling challenges in their own relationships.

Fourth, marriages become stronger. Spouses who face problems together often emerge with greater unity and appreciation for one another.

Finally, families develop resilience. Every challenge overcome becomes evidence that future storms can be weathered as well.

One reason many people avoid storms is the mistaken belief that life should be easy. When difficulties arise, we may assume something has gone wrong or that God has abandoned us. Scripture teaches otherwise.

Christians are not promised a life of ease or a life free from trouble. We live in a fallen world where challenges, disappointments, setbacks, and hardships are unavoidable. The question is not whether storms will come. The question is how we will respond when they do.

The bison’s example doesn’t merely teach us something about perseverance. It reflects a biblical principle that appears throughout Scripture. God repeatedly calls His people to face life’s storms with faith instead of fear.

Seek First

When storms arise, our first instinct is often to look for the quickest escape route. We search for comfort, convenience, or compromise. Yet Jesus gave us a different priority:

Seeking God first keeps us focused on what matters most. It prevents us from becoming blinded by shortcuts and compromises that may offer temporary relief but ultimately lead us away from God’s best.

For stepdads and blended families, this means placing God at the center of every challenge. Rather than asking, “What’s easiest?” we should ask, “What’s right?” Rather than pursuing the path of least resistance, we should pursue the path of faithfulness.

Stand Firm

The world constantly pressures us to compromise our values, convictions, and commitment to God. Standing firm is rarely easy, especially when everyone around us is moving in a different direction.

Daniel’s three friends understood this pressure. Refusing to bow before King Nebuchadnezzar’s golden image, they stood apart from the crowd:

Likewise, the Apostle Paul urges believers:

And again:

For stepdads, standing firm may mean maintaining biblical principles even when they’re unpopular. It may mean showing patience when others respond with anger, extending grace when others choose bitterness, or remaining committed when circumstances become difficult.

Don’t Quit

Perhaps the greatest lesson from the bison is perseverance.

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego knew God could save them from the fiery furnace. Yet their faith did not depend upon receiving the outcome they desired:

That is steadfast faith.

Similarly, Paul encourages believers:

Perseverance Produces Growth

Blended family life can be challenging. Building trust takes time. Strengthening relationships requires patience. Healing wounds often happens more slowly than we’d like.

Yet God’s Word repeatedly calls us to persevere.

Don’t quit on your marriage.

Don’t quit on your stepchildren.

Don’t quit on doing what’s right.

Don’t quit on God.

Like the bison moving into the storm, keep moving forward in faith. The storm may be difficult, but God is faithful. Often, the blessings we seek are found on the other side of the challenges we’re tempted to avoid.

Finding Peace in the Storm

The Apostle Paul reminds us:

Notice that God’s peace often comes while we’re moving through the storm, not after it has passed.

For stepdads, this means leading with courage, humility, and faith. It means trusting God enough to address challenges rather than avoid them. While avoidance may provide temporary relief, growth usually occurs when we’re willing to engage the problem and work toward a solution.

What Storm Are You Avoiding?

Perhaps it’s a difficult conversation with your spouse. Maybe it’s a strained relationship with a stepchild. It could be a parenting disagreement, a financial concern, or a wound that needs healing.

Whatever the challenge, consider taking one small step toward it this week rather than away from it. 

Remember, every storm eventually passes. The character, faith, and relationships you build while walking through it can last a lifetime.

About the author

In 1995, Gerardo became a stepdad to two children, a boy and a girl, ages 14 and 10. In 2011, he started the website Support for Stepfathers to reverse the nearly 70% divorce rate for blended families in the United States. His website is to help and inspire stepfathers, aspiring stepfathers, and the women who love them worldwide. You can follow Support for Stepdads on Twitter and Facebook.