In previous posts, I talked about the following parenting styles:
This post will discuss the disengaged or uninvolved parenting style. Experts consider this parenting style the most damaging and harmful to children in the long term. Dr. Maryann Rosenthal, a clinical family psychologist, and the best-selling author, states this type of parent can “sow a lifetime of havoc by their indifference or inability to deal with their children.”
This style typically occurs in two different circumstances:
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- High-income parents consumed with careers and money
- Single parents or financially struggling families working multiple jobs to make ends meet
In both instances, the long hours spent at work negatively affects family life.
Characteristics of a Disengaged Parenting Style
- Low levels of involvement and rapport
- The parent becomes a stranger in their own home.
- Fails to provide structure and rules
- Fails to show love or foster an emotional connection
- Lack of control, discipline, and monitoring of the stepchild’s behavior and activities. Avoid confrontation and responsibility.
- NeglectfulGives up parenting and leaves it up to institutions (schools, churches, etc.) and other people in their child’s life to be the parents, resulting in fragmented boundaries and love
Impacts of a Disengaged Parent Style on Children
- Does not experience unconditional love from parents
- High risk for emotional and behavioral problems
- Academic difficulties
- Low self-esteem and confidence
- Most likely, smoking and alcohol or substance abuse
- Do what they want; they are possibly depressed and may harbor suicidal thoughts imposed on external or internal boundaries.
- A strong need to form attachments may not be discriminating with friends or hanging out with the wrong crowd.
The experts state stepfathers commonly adopt a disengaged parenting style, unlike their biological counterparts. The reasons why stepdads choose to be uninvolved may vary from family to family, from they’re not your kids to their mother protecting her children from your parenting style.
As you’ve read about the impacts this parenting style has on children, the stakes are too high to remain disengaged. Please don’t allow yourself to remain disengaged and make them victims of your parenting style.
Just because they don’t say, it doesn’t mean your stepchildren don’t need you. Get whatever help you need to get back involved. Click here to get a copy of Dr. Rosenthal’s book Be a Parent, Not a Pushover.
