When we think about expressing love, our thoughts often jump straight to physical touch. Whether it’s a warm hug, holding hands, a gentle shoulder squeeze, a big ol’ kiss, or something else, physical touch is a big deal.
Part of that is because we’re human; when we touch each other, our bodies release oxytocin, sometimes referred to as the “feel-good hormone.” However, for those who speak the love language of physical touch, the need goes much deeper. Let’s take a closer look!
Why Physical Touch Matters
Physical touch is often misunderstood as a form of affection or love language. People often immediately associate it with romance and bodily sensations, but touch is a deep emotional need for many individuals. It conveys love, security, and connection without a single word.
Like the other love languages, we can see this love language expressed in the Bible. Simple instances of touch are shown to be both powerful and nurturing.
God designed us to find comfort in physical closeness. Touch is more than physical—it is also emotional and spiritual.
How Physical Touch Communicates Love
For someone whose primary love language is physical touch, a hug, a gentle back rub, or even a reassuring pat on the shoulder can speak volumes. These gestures lower stress and remind them that they’re not alone. It’s a way of being present and expressing how much you care, without having to say a word.
Physical touch is a form of action-based love, and something that’s deeply meaningful to those who respond to it.
Biblical Examples of Physical Touch
If you ever have questions about how to express love, just turn to the Bible! Jesus regularly used physical touch as a way to express love and compassion. Whenever He healed or blessed someone, He laid His hands on them, as He did in:
Even an indirect touch worked:
Christ’s examples show the transformative power of touch and how a small, sincere gesture can carry great emotional and spiritual weight.
Offering Physical Touch in Stepfamilies
In blended families, physical affection can be complex, especially with children who may be cautious about touch from a stepparent. The key is respecting boundaries while offering safe and appropriate gestures, such as high-fives, handshakes, or knuckle bumps. Forcing a child into a hug only teaches them that their boundaries won’t be respected, which makes the situation worse.
It’s also essential to remember that some individuals may never feel comfortable with casual physical touch. Not everyone grew up in an affectionate household, and for some, trauma or culture may make touch uncomfortable. If that’s the case in your family, start slow. Offer gentle, trust-building gestures and be consistent.
Knowing when and how to offer touch is just as important as offering it in the first place.
Loving Someone Whose Language Is Physical Touch
To someone who speaks this love language, daily physical contact can mean everything. Take the time to touch them as you pass, and offer intentional touches whenever possible. Remember to kiss them goodbye, hold hands when you’re watching TV, and offer a little shoulder rub after a long day.
Making the effort to offer touch can affirm your care in meaningful ways. It might not come naturally at first, but give it time, and you’ll get the hang of it.
If Your Love Language Is Physical Touch
As with all love languages, it’s essential to ensure that your loved ones understand what you need. Be kind, but also be clear; what feels loving to you might not come naturally to others.
Don’t assume others know what you need; speak up with honesty and grace. Ask for a hug and don’t hesitate to reach out when you need to. When you express your needs, you give others the opportunity to love you the way you want.
Love That You Can Feel
For people who speak the love language of physical touch, it’s much more than just physical. It is emotional, spiritual, and incredibly powerful. In blended families, especially, a small touch can help form bonds that words sometimes cannot.
Reaching out and making that connection is a tangible reminder that, yes, you’re here and you’re not going anywhere. If that doesn’t say “I love you,” what does?
How has the love language of physical touch shaped your relationships? Share your story in the comments, and check out the Support for Stepdads blog to learn more about being the best stepfather you can be.
