Stepparents can be guilty of the same mistakes a biological parent can make. However, when a stepparent makes them, it can be as painful if not worse with even higher stakes.
It was early November, and my wife and I were traveling to Orlando, Florida. The company I worked with was holding a multiple-day seminar at the Walt Disney World facilities.
My two stepchildren were in junior and senior high, and we didn’t have the finances to take them with us to Disney World. My biological son still wasn’t of school age, so we decided to take him with us. The cost was cheaper than leaving him behind and using childcare.
He and my wife would enjoy the Disney accommodations and the park during the day, and I would join them in the evenings.
My wife explained the situation to her children to soften what we knew would be a crushing blow. My stepchildren stated they accepted and understood our plans. However, the days leading up to our departure were filled with acting out and passive-aggressive behavior on the part of my stepchildren.
My stepkids biological father added to their wounds by stating how I didn’t view them as part of the family. This despite being a part of their lives for over seven years at that time.
Upon our return from Disney World, I resolved to make things right with my stepchildren by planning on a family trip to Disney World. Sadly the trip never happened.
In addition, to make things right with your stepchild, I feel it’s also important to make things right with yourself first by giving yourself forgiveness. Being at peace with yourself gives you a clear head to handle challenges you may encounter in your stepfamily life.
Here are some common mistakes to avoid as a stepparent.
Exclude your Stepkids from Family Activities
Hard as it may be, from experience, I have learned it’s always best to include both your biological kids and stepkids in any family activity. When it comes to family engagements or trips, ensure all your children partake. One of the quickest ways to fuel stepsibling rivalry is to show preferential treatment for a child or exclude another from family activities.
Overstepping Boundaries
I know it may be tempting to want to bond with your stepkids right away. However, it’s best to take things slow. Instead, let your stepkid stir the course of the relationship.
Being Impatient
Stepfamilies should be created slowly, with couples and children having enough time to get used to themselves as a family unit. Your stepkids may have gotten used to being with one parent and reluctantly welcome you or your kids.
Don’t Compete with the Bio Parent
Avoid competing with the bio parent; you may likely lose. The reality is, your stepkids bio parent may rank higher than you on their scale of preference. But, it doesn’t make you less of a fantastic parent.
The blended family has its fair share of challenges. Focus on how to navigate your new family unit while promoting a solid relationship among your family members. Here are simple ways to connect with your stepdaughter.
A wonderful and meaningful relationship with your stepchild is possible if you avoid these common mistakes as a stepparent. As with many things, It may take some time to nurture a loving relationship with stepkids.
