Every relationship has its ups and downs. A parent-child relationship is no different. However, it’s crucial for every parent to find ways to strengthen a parent-child relationship.
As a child grows and matures, it faces many headwinds, especially during the teen and adolescent stages. Without proper nurturing, a parent-child relationship can also deteriorate over time. However, the good news is, if you proactively work on it with clear intentions, it can be saved,.
What does a Good Parent-child Relationship Look Like?
Like any relationship, it takes time to develop and strengthen. A healthy parent-child relationship has flavors of the following characteristics.
- Mutual respect for each other.
- Clear rules yet being firm and fair.
- Have and respect boundaries by setting clear, healthy expectations.
- Acceptance of each other’s shortcomings.
- Flexibility and intent to make changes and corrections if need be.
- A solid trust in their abilities.
- Acceptance and being non-judgemental.
- Making an effort to spend quality time together.
- Enjoying each other’s company.
- Feeling secure and loved.
Find out more about family relationships and their impact on building a positive family relationship. A healthy relationship does not put stress or bring sadness. In fact, it’s one where you would turn to in case you are facing a situation, and you would need someone to be there for you.
Effective Ways to Strengthen Parent-Child Relationships
1. Have Unique Bedtime Rituals
My kids just love this. Have unique bedtime rituals for each child. This will give special uniqueness to your relationship with your child.
In my case, one of my kids likes to hear a story. One just likes to listen to me sing. And my elder one just likes me to talk to him on the questions he has.
2. Give Them the Needed Attention
Pay attention to what they are doing. Check academics, food, health, and friendships they are forming, or breaking up. Giving attention to your child shows they’re important and you are concerned about them.
3. Secret Language or Codes
It’s a fun and effective way to bond. When you have a secret language or quotes for each child, which is known only by you and your child, it brings a sense of uniqueness to the child. One secret search code is the word “sweetie.” It is a code between my daughter and me. I use this word when I find her back talking without her realizing she is doing so.
4. Respect their Space
Bonding does not mean spending 24X7 of your time together or being around your kid. Just like music gets better with a strategic pause for a small duration, give your child time if they wish to be by themselves.
5. Take Off the Element of Surprise and Uncertainty
Every relationship needs stability. This can be done when you involve your kid and make plans and schedules together.
Make things as transparent as possible. Like the food menu, chores, family timings, and allowances. All this will take off the uncertainty and reduce the reasons for conflict.
6. Give Opportunities to your Child to Help you
It’s common to get attached to the things you take care of. You serve your children, you put in efforts, and naturally, you get attached to them.
Most of the time as parents, we make the mistake of not letting our children serve us. Let them do small things for you. My daughter serves her family by giving each of us a glass of water from time to time.
7. A Pat, A Kiss, A Hug
All these work wonders to build a relationship with your child. My daughter loves me blowing a flying kiss with just two fingers when a bus is about to leave the stop.
Her brother, my eldest son, loves hugs when he is completely down and out. My second one, on the other hand, likes me to mess my hair up when I connect with him.
8. Show Them the Beauty Inside
No one gets tired of hearing nice things about themselves. Children are not different. Highlight their uniqueness, their strengths, and their talents and do it as often as possible so they completely believe what you say.
9. Have some Structured Conversations
One of the effective ways to communicate and get your point across to your child is to have a structured conversation. The sort of conversations where you make clear of your expectations from your child. Or the rules you have in your house.
Call out clearly the consequences of breaking disobedience. This way, there is no ambiguity and less conflict. You can read more effective ways to structure a punishment that will be progressive in nature.
10. Show Warmth and Respect
Show warmth and respect in every interaction you have. Do this, regardless of the child’s age. Your non-verbal communication and the way you approach and deal with them are received by your child all the time.
Even a baby who does not understand a word you say can still feel the way you react and can respond to the stress you’re facing.
Nine Things that Can Ruin a Relationship
Every relationship has the potential to grow and become something beautiful or deteriorate. Below are a few things that can ruin a relationship. And a parent and child relationship is no different and is vulnerable.
- Be judgemental, cynical, or unforgiving.
- Have a “My way or the highway attitude.”
- Indulge in abusing the child. (physically, or mentally or emotionally)
- Be disrespectful and rude when your kid approaches you.
- Dominate, dictate, and be closed to suggestions or opinions.
- Hold a negative mindset or attitude.
- Lack of time or communication.
- Mistrusting your child.
- Be uninvolved or bothered or disinterested in their day to day life.
Finally, a warm, loving, and nurturing relationship between you and your child does wonders for your child’s confidence, self-esteem, and self-image. It helps them be more resilient and gives them the skills needed to face life in general.
Just like fine wine, relationships get mature and better over time if it is worked upon. And when you invest time and energy in your little one, you are helping shape the future of your child positively to become one fine adult.
Furthermore, building your relationship is just like any other relationship. The following tips will help you create a relationship with your adult stepchild.
