Humor

Jokes About The Palmetto State

South Carolina is one of the original thirteen colonies. The nickname Palmetto state refers to South Carolina’s official state tree, the Sabal Palmetto. Prior to that, they were known as the Iodine state due to its high concentrations in the soil and vegetation.


Years ago, I was stationed at Shaw Air Force Base outside the city of Sumter. To be sure, South Carolinians do have a keen sense of humor.

I remember renting an apartment and asking the manager if the refrigerator was self-defrost. She replied in the cutest southern accent, “Yes, you do it yourself.”

1. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much.  Naturally, the second one became known as the lesser of two weevils.

2. How do you know when you’re staying in a South Carolina hotel? “When you call the front desk and say “I’ve gotta leak in my sink.”
and the front desk clerk says “go ahead”.

3. You might be a South Carolinian if …

  • You think Sherlock Holmes is a Charleston housing project.
  • You think a stock tip is advice on worming your hogs.
  • You think the last words to “The Star-Spangled Banner” are “Gentlemen, start your engines.”
  • You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.
  • You believe a quarter horse is a ride in front of Wal-Mart.
  • You think the word Shakespeare is a hunting technique.

4. How do you make Clemson University? Put them in a big Bowl and beat for three hours

5. What’s the difference between a Gamecock football player and a dollar? You can get four quarters out of a dollar.

6. How do you get a Clemson Tigers fan to laugh all weekend long? Tell him a joke Monday morning.

7. Why did the Clemson Tigers change their uniforms to orange? So they can play the game, direct traffic and pick up trash without changing.

8. Why do Clemson University students have such beautiful noses? They’re handpicked.

9. While fishing off Myrtle Beach, a Yankee tourist capsized his boat. Petrified, he yelled to an old guy standing on the shore, “Are there any gators around here?!” “Naw,” the man hollered back, “they ain’t been around for years!” Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming toward shore. Halfway there, he asked the guy, “How’d you get rid of the gators?” “We didn’t do anything,” the old guy said. “The sharks got ’em.”

10. You’re probably in a South Carolina church if…

  • The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
  • A member of the church requests to be buried in his four-wheel-drive because there’s never been a hole it couldn’t get out of.
  • The choir is known as the OK Chorale.
  • Service is brought to order by a duck call.
  • The communion wine is Boone’s Farm “Tickled Pink.”

11. What do Gamecock fans do after they win an SEC championship? They turn off the PlayStation.

12. Why do South Carolina football players like smart women? Opposites attract.

13. A Clemson grad and a Gamecock both jump off a cliff at the same time. Who lands first? The Clemson grad because the Gamecock would have to stop to ask for directions.

Sometimes we’re tested not to show our weaknesses, but to discover our strengths.

Do you like puns? Click here to read 26 hand-selected puns.

About the author

About the author

In 1995, Gerardo Campbell married his now ex-wife becoming the stepdad to her two children. In 2011, he started Support for Stepfathers to reverse the nearly 70% divorce rate for blended families in the US. His website is to help and inspire stepfathers, aspiring stepfathers and the women who love them worldwide. You can follow Support for Stepdads on Twitter and Facebook.

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