If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
~ Albert Einstein
As a child, I grew up attempting to be good because being bad was too painful. My parents were extremely strict disciplinarians. The expression, “A hard head makes a soft behind.” comes to mind and boy was I hardheaded. My reward for being good was avoiding punishment.
In college ethics, I learned we should be good because it’s the right, moral thing to do. As members of society, we’re obligated to each other to do good things. We need to do good things rather than avoiding doing bad things. To understand how to be good, it’s crucial we seek wisdom. Goodness should be our goal in living.
Somewhere along the way, being good was no longer enough me. I had to be outstanding, and if I wasn’t outstanding I had to be at least excellent. I had grown to believe being called good was like being told your just average. Can it really bad to be called good? Webster provides the following definitions for good:
- Possessing desirable qualities; adapted to answer the end designed; promoting success, welfare, or happiness; serviceable; useful; fit; excellent; admirable; commendable; not bad, corrupt, evil, noxious, offensive, or troublesome, etc.
- Possessing moral excellence or virtue; virtuous; pious; religious; — said of persons or actions.
- Kind; benevolent; humane; merciful; gracious; polite; propitious; friendly; well-disposed; — often followed by to or toward, also formerly by unto.
With the above definitions for good why wouldn’t you or I want to be called good? Aren’t characteristics identified above what you would like in your life? It is great we teach our children the value of excellent and outstanding performance, and as individuals, we strive for excellence in everything we do. We strive for excellence but when we miss the mark being good should be okay too.
Have you heard the saying, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Just having good intentions or trying to do good is not enough. We also have to consider whether our actions will have good results. Not every attempt to do good will end with good results, so when things don’t work out, be willing to reconsider your actions and change them accordingly.
Your sense of duty, loyalty, or obligation must not get in the way of doing what’s right.
Many of parents feel it’s always good to help their children in every way they can, but there are times when children need to learn lessons on their own and face the consequences of their behavior to avoid the same mistake in the future. A child who was arrested for driving under the influence or running up their credit card needs to bear the responsibility for their actions.
If the parent rescues the child, helping the child to minimize or avoid the consequences altogether, the child will only learn the parent will be there to help them even if they do wrong. The intention is good (wanting to help the child succeed), but the action might not be (removing all obstacles from their path).
Be good and do good – it’s the right thing to do.
