“Extra caramel please,” with a childlike enthusiasm my sister-in-law, Yolanda, told the Starbuck’s barista for the second time who was diligently making her caramel frappucino. I know the barista’s irritated I thought after she repeated her request a second time. She had repeated the same request twice to the woman who took her order. Yolanda’s hasn’t been herself lately you see she’s dying from an inoperable brain tumor and her doctors have given her six months to a year to live.
The tumor has several side affects to include periodic stuttering, mood swings, occassional confusion and the symptom I found most persistent was her innocent childlikeness. While Yolanda was waiting in line for her frappucino she engaged a man in innocent conversation – “Oh no she’s going to embarass us even more” I thought but the gentleman just seem to enjoy the conversation while he waited.
The night before Yolanda told me, “Gerardo you are an intelligent man but you don’t try to make me feel dumb by using big words.” I thanked Yolanda for her sincere complement – I always felt she was intimidated around me. Yolanda and Nick, her husband, was visiting with us a few days while enroute to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. I can only imagine Yolanda’s wide-eyed awe at the various marine life she’ll see.
While I’m glad and I’m sure the Pretty Lady is happy too that my days of thumb-sucking and bed-wetting are behind me, positive childhood traits such as openness, teachability and wonderous imagination unfortunately have lessen as I’ve grown older. I’ve almost forgotten how a couple of boards would change my red Radio Flyer wagon into a race car or tank or how a couple of stacked boxes would become my fort. What were some of your imaginative childhood memories?
Openness. I think there’s a reason behind the adage, “Children should be seen and not heard.” when a child speaks you never know what they’re going to say. Remember Art Linkletter’s program, “Kids Say the Darndest Things?” Children we know can sometimes be embarrassingly sincere because they tend to tell all. This kind of honest openness in our dealings with one another is a precious virtue to cultivate. I suppose over the years we’ve been so often hurt by being open that as adults we tend to remain closed.
Teachability. Children easily, spontaneously, trustfully, listen to what they’re told and believe. Children are not skeptics by nature they learn from us [adults] to become one. They are not critics. They trust they believe. What a precious virtue to cultivate in our own lives. Normally, we learn through the circumstances of our daily lives. Especially those most painful circumstances called other people which is where we tend to be less than teachable.
Wonder. Children admire everything. They are lost in admiration at so many things. How long does it take you to walk through the mall with a child at your side? Curiosity, wonder, admiration at the most commonplace things in life. It is a God given instinct but sadly I’m afraid we tend to lose it.
Thankfully it’s never too late to reclaim these positive characteristics of our youth and use them to complement the wisdom and experience we gain with age. Start by deciding to abandon caution and give this a try. Start by identifying the qualities of children you’d like to emulate: curiosity, play, living in the moment, abandoning worries, imagination, creativity and pure joy.
Observe children. Watch how they play, how they create and how they ask questions. Sure, sometimes they do silly things like throw tantrums but even in that you can see their pure abandonment of everything but what is happening to them right now. Watch and learn.
Play with children. Lose yourself in play – be a dinosaur, superhero or a bad guy. Enjoy yourself. Make the kid’s squeal in delight and feel free to do the same yourself.
Talk with children. Ask them questions and answer theirs. Don’t talk down to them with baby talk but don’t be too grownup either.
Play by yourself. Go outside and run around, jump, slide, kick a ball around, pretend. Forget about who might be watching.
See the world with new eyes. It is a wondrous place, a miracle happening every second, a source of immense fascination that can knock you on your can if you let it. You are a miracle and every moment you have is a gift. What will you do with that gift?
Finally, for your children, let them be childlike. Stop trying to make them grow up. Stop trying to shape them, criticize them, make them your own piece of clay.
A wise man said long ago unless we change and become like little children you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
