We previously talked about the authoritarian and permissive styles, now we are going to take a look at the authoritative style. Like authoritarian parents, if you have an authoritative parenting style you establish rules and guidelines you expect your children to follow.
However, this parenting style is much more democratic because it gives the child choices and/or takes the child’s opinion. While it’s called democratic the parent cannot be voted out of power. 🙂
Authoritative Parents
- Encourage independence, originality, open communication, and listens to the child’s point of view as well as expressing his or her own.
- Maintains a fairly high level of expectation from the child in terms of conduct and responsibilities; establishes clear standards
- They are responsive to their children and willing to listen to questions.
- They are more nurturing and forgiving rather than punishing when children fail to meet the expectations; reinforcing good behavior and not emphasize the bad.
- Are assertive but not intrusive and restrictive.
- Have supportive disciplinary methods rather than punitive.
- Want their children to be assertive as well as socially responsible, and self-regulated as well as cooperative.
- Less rigid about gender roles, allowing sensitivity in boys and independence in girls.
By encouraging the growth of strong inner discipline and through treating children with respect, this parenting style also enhances the parent’s own emotional growth and development.
It is important to distinguish between an authoritative and authoritarian parenting style.
- Authoritative means to be dependable, reliable, and convincing.
- Authoritarian means to be strict, controlling, and dictatorial.
Effects of Authoritative Parenting Style on Children
- Lively and happy disposition.
- Know they are loved and respected.
- Think for themselves and have a high level of autonomy.
- Become socially responsible, able to control aggression, self-confident, and high in self-esteem.
- More emotional self-control, more self-discipline, are more popular with their peers and do better at school.
Why is Authoritative Parenting Considered the Best Choice?
The authoritative parenting style is recommended by the experts as the most beneficial to children. It seems to be the perfect balance between Authoritarian Parenting and Permissive Parenting.
Sometimes a parent needs to be obeyed regardless of the child’s feelings, but sometimes it’s important to give them a chance and allow them to make mistakes without intervention. Being authoritative will often result in children growing to be successful, independent, and well-rounded adults.
Just setting rules, consequences, and rewards aren’t everything. You have to be flexible while still making it clear you’re in charge. You want your children to respect you, consider you an authority, and be generally happy and content with their lives.
Avoid creating a hostile environment in your home and don’t overly punish them. Try to monitor their progress and make sure they understand the punishments for their actions recognizing kids are going to make mistakes.
Remember to be reasonable, be patient, keep in mind the age of your children, and most important keep everything appropriate.
