Being a step-parent is difficult, especially during the earliest months of your new role. Whether you have children of your own from a previous relationship or have recently discovered yourself amid parenthood, it’s important to manage your stress and stay calm as the whole family adjusts to the new living arrangement.
Stress is inevitable, so trying to eliminate it altogether won’t serve useful—and may actually make it worse. Instead, adopt healthy coping mechanisms that allow you to reduce stress, protect your health, and prioritize what matters most. Here are some ways stepdads can manage their roles.
Meet Children on Their Own Terms
Building a relationship with your step-children will take time. It can be difficult for children to accept having a step-parent.
Some kids feel like their biological parent is being replaced while others may simply not understand the arrangement. Their whole world is shifting, and it’s natural for children to act out a bit during this time.
Understand that their confusion and apprehension doesn’t come out the same way as it does in adults. Keep communication open, be friendly, and don’t try to force the dynamic by doing things like making them call you “Dad.”
The best thing you can do is spend time together as a family when children are willing and get close to them little by little.
Take Time Away as a Couple
You may feel the need to throw yourself into your new role and focus entirely on being the best step-dad ever. However, keep in mind you have a relationship that needs attention, too.
You don’t want your relationship with your new spouse to suffer. Schedule weekly date nights, catch up every evening without TV or other distractions. Also, make sure you maintain your identity as a partner as well as a step-father.
Stay on Top of Your Stress Levels
Chronic stress has negative effects on your physical and mental health, and those can, in turn, affect the people around you. High stress, which in the short-term can make you irritable and prone to overreactions, can eventually lead to insomnia, depression, and anxiety.
It can also increase your risk of a heart attack. Monitor your blood pressure, eat a healthy diet, and follow an exercise routine. Use a cortisol home test kit to measure how much of the stress hormone is in your body. Lowering your cortisol level takes time.
However, knowing where yours rests naturally can help you gauge where exactly you fall on the stress spectrum.
Be Accepting
If there’s one thing you’ll learn as a step-father, it’s the importance of letting things go. You may be struggling to adjust to your new family’s quirks and habits just as much as they are to yours.
Be cheerful and embrace the change. Consider this entire transition as an opportunity to grow as a person and develop as a father figure.
Becoming a step-father is a challenge, but it can also be one of the most transformative and rewarding experiences of your life. Be sure to keep communication lines open with your partner, too.
So, these are some ways stepdads can manage their roles. Remember, you don’t have to have everything together all the time, and they’ll appreciate your honesty when you need advice and some emotional support.
After all, you’re in this together, and it’s okay to turn to your significant other to help you cope with stress. Here’s a guide for working stepdads who want to give your beloved family the lifestyles they deserve so much.
