The Best Jokes About Nevada ~ Friday Humor

Nevada is known for its flashy casinos and first-class entertainment. Why’s Nevada called Nevada? Nevada’s name comes from the Sierra Nevada mountain range. Nevada is Spanish for “snow-covered.”  In addition to its two most popular cities, Las Vegas and Reno, the state is renown for its scenic desert landscapes. Nevada is also home to attractions like the Great Basin National Park and the Hoover Dam.

1. I was in a casino playing roulette last night, when the man standing next to me turned to me and said, “Black, 27.” I shook his hand and said, “White, 23.”
2. “I wanted to get married at the drive-through wedding chapel. That way if I wanted a divorce, I could just back up.” ~ Wendy Liebman
3. I went to a family reunion in Nevada. Turns out what happens in Vegas…is executable back in Texas.
4. Apparently, Nevada has the highest rate of depression and unfaithful partners. What a sad state of affairs.
5. What happened to the criminal who was caught in the capital of Nevada. He was inCarsonrated.
6. I went to a dentist is Vegas because I had a cavity… and he wanted to wait until I had three in a row!” “When you get a mammogram there, it comes with a two-drink minimum.” ~ Rita Rudner
7. A pickle walks into a casino and sits down at a card table. He says “Dill me in”
8. They just built a steakhouse on the casino’s second floor. The steaks have never been higher.
9. I ordered a bunch of second-hand card decks from a casino a month ago, but I still haven’t received any. When I asked for an update, they said they are still dealing with it.
10. Why are there no casinos in China? Because the Chinese hate Tibet.
11. A Reno casino is offering marijuana-infused beef to its best bettors. That’s really high steaks for their high rollers.
12. “I love Vegas because of the hotels. You can see the world without ever leaving the desert and it’s better than the actual place. You can see the pyramids of Egypt with air-conditioning, New York without getting stabbed, and Paris and there’s no French people.” ~ Alex Reymundo.
13. I just found out my wife’s credit card was stolen! The thieves are spending it all on jewelry and casinos! But I decided not to report it because they’re spending less than my wife.
14. Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because there are too many cheetahs. If you meet one who claims they’re not a cheetah, they’re probably lion to you.
15. A couple moves to Nevada and the husband hits it big at the casino. He rushes into his house and yells to his wife, “Pack up your things. I just won a million-dollar slot machine jackpot!” The wife replies, “Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?” The husband responds, “I don’t care. Just so long as you’re out of the house by noon.”
16. I took my masochistic girlfriend to the casino, but she lost all my money. She kept screaming “Hit me!” at the blackjack table.
17. Why didn’t the casino hire the T-rex? They didn’t want to hire a small arms dealer.
18. My wife wants to leave me. She says I care more about gambling than I do her or our daughter. She’s obviously wrong. Why else am I refusing to leave the casino until I win my daughter’s college tuition money back?
19. Did you hear about the Casino that hired a Blacksmith? He who smelt it dealt it.
20. Why was the dietician kicked out of the casino? He was caught counting carbs.
21. How can you always break even at the casino? Play the change machines.
22. “I once gambled away my car in Las Vegas. The people at Hertz were absolutely furious.” ~ Marty Allen

About the author

In 1995, Gerardo Campbell married his now ex-wife becoming the stepdad to her two children. In 2011, he started Support for Stepfathers to reverse the nearly 70% divorce rate for blended families in the US. His website is to help and inspire stepfathers, aspiring stepfathers and the women who love them worldwide. You can follow Support for Stepdads on Twitter and Facebook.