The following quote from Abraham Lincoln is in praise of his stepmother Sarah Lincoln.
This May we have the opportunity to honor some of the most hardworking, incredibly important yet generally underappreciated members of society – our mothers.
Hopefully, you already made plans to celebrate your mom this Sunday. If there’s a stepmom in your life you can celebrate her day the following Sunday, May 17.
And yes Moms have a keen sense of humor.
1. A mother is trying to get her son to eat carrots. “Carrots are good for your eyes,” she says.
“How do you know?” the boy asks. The mother replies, “Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?”
2. A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when suddenly a cat attacks them. The mother mouse shouts “BARK!” and the cat runs away.
“See?” the mother mouse says to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?”
3. I shouted to my Mom on Mother’s Day, “How does breakfast in bed sound?” She said, “Ooh that sounds lovely! I said, “Great, I’ll have bacon, hashbrowns, and two scrambled eggs.”
4. Mom asked me where I’m taking her to go out to eat for Mother’s Day. I told her, “We already have food in the house”.
5. For Mother’s Day, I got my mom a case of Bud Lite. After all, I’m the reason she drinks.
6. Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young.
7. For Mother’s Day, I got my mom a case of Bud Lite. After all, I’m the reason she drinks.
8. I still hear your voice in my head telling me to do the right thing. I call it my inner mom-ologue.
9. Computers are so smart because they listen to their motherboards. Thanks for always giving me the best advice.
10. Daughter: Mom, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world? Mom: I don’t know dear, you’d have to ask Grandma.
11. Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother’s Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen.
But after a good long wait, she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs. “As a surprise for Mother’s Day,” one explained, “We decided to cook our own breakfast.”
12. “Mom, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy. “Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his mother replied.
After dinner, the mother inquired, “Now, baby, what did you want to ask me?” “Oh, nothing,” the boy said. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”
13.1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. Second baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. Third baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
14. One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair.
She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks: “Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?”Her mother replied: “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked: “Mumma, how come all of grandma’s hairs are white?”
15. “I bet Mother’s Day gets really awkward and confusing on Game of Thrones.”
16. I asked Mum what she wanted for Mother’s Day. She said, “ A bit of care and comfort” So I put her in a nursing home.
17. A boy goes to a strip club. Mom: Did you see anything there you weren’t supposed to see? Boy: Yes, I saw dad!
18. “People who say they sleep like a baby don’t have one.”
19. “If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says ‘keep away from children’” ~ Susan Savannah
20. Fred is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, “Why aren’t you married? Can’t you find a woman who will be a good wife?”
Fred replied, “Actually, I’ve found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn’t like them.” His friend thinks for a moment and says, “I’ve got the perfect solution, just find a girl who’s just like your mother.”
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, “Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?”
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, “Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much.”
The friend said, “Then what’s the problem?” Fred replied, “My father doesn’t like her.”
Lab-grown diamond jewelry is more affordable, especially as a gift for your mom or stepmom for mother’s day, birthday anniversary, or any other special occasion. Great Heights Inc. offers a variety of diamond jewelry for that special woman in your life. Thanks to science, you now have an opportunity to have beautiful and sparkling jewelry for less the price of a natural diamond.
