Resources For Stepparents And Blended Families

I keep an ever-evolving list of helpful resources for stepparents and blended families, especially those in high-conflict custody situations. I only include here the ones I’ve read or used (and liked) myself. Any suggestions on more links I should add? Let me know!

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• Handy-dandy blended family acronym guide

Help for New or Struggling Stepmoms & Stepdads

• Tips for dating with kids (also good for new stepmoms & stepdads)

• When are you considered a stepparent?

• What to expect as you’re becoming a stepparent

• The 2 most important lessons I learned as a stepmom: that it’s okay if you don’t love your stepkid and it’s okay that blended families are different from traditional families

• What we’d do differently if we could start all over again from scratch

Disengaging Resources for Stepmoms & Stepdads

• The Disengaging Essay – Explains the pressure cooker dynamics of blended family life and how stepping back can give you and your stepkids the room everyone needs to successfully blend

• Not Your Circus, Not Your Monkeys: The Frustrated Stepparent’s Guide to Reclaiming Personal Peace – An ebook that answers the question “Yeah but HOW do I disengage?”

• How normal stepparenting gets viewed as favoritism and double standards

• Why stepping back could make you a better stepparent

Support for Stressed-out Stepmoms & Stepdads

• Being a stepmom gave me PTSD

• How to survive stepparenting stress

• Stepparents & mental health

• The emotional labor of stepparenting

• Find the joy even when this shit’s hard

Help for Blended Families in High Conflict

• When taking the high road sucks

• Becoming a stepparent to a stepkid from abuse or trauma

• How to support your partner when they’re co-parenting with a narc ex

• 5 co-parenting tips that don’t work with a high-conflict ex (& what to do instead)

• A stepparent’s guide to parental alienation

HELP for Co-parenting in High Conflict

• Custody Chaos, Personal Peace – A godsend for us personally—crammed with strategies, examples, and tips for dealing with shared custody with a high-conflict co-parent

• The Vampire Hunter’s Field Manual: A Survivors Guide to Narcissistic Abuse by Matt Davis

• Our Family Wizard – A co-parenting app

• Talking Parents – Another co-parenting app

Parental Alienation Resources

• A stepparent’s guide to parental alienation – I have tons more PAS resources listed here!

• Divorce Poison: How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing – The leading resource on parental alienation

• Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind – Hopeful long-term look at the effects of parental alienation, including healing the parent-child relationship later in life

Books & WORKSHOPS for Stepparents & Blended Families

• Blended Is Badass: Embracing the Awesome Messiness of Stepfamily Life

• How to Disengage: A Workshop for Stepparents

• Dating with Kids: 9 Sanity-Savers That BOTH Partners Need to Know!

• Not Your Circus, Not Your Monkeys: The Frustrated Stepparent’s Guide to Reclaiming Personal Peace

Resources for BIPOC & LGBTQ+ Stepparents

• Blended & Black

• Blendcredible Podcast

• Plus HER Podcast: A Stepmom’s Journey

• @blendedontherock

• The Inclusive Stepmom

My Fave Podcasts for Stepmoms & Stepdads

• Radical Stepmoms with Genet and Christina

• Blendcredible Podcast with Tim Watson

• Essential Stepmom Podcast with Tracy Poizner

• Plus HER Podcast: A Stepmom’s Journey with Anne-Laurie Forbes

MORE Online Resources for Stepmoms & Stepdads

• r/stepparents over on Reddit (start with the FAQ)

• Guided Meditations for Stepmoms from Anna de Acosta

• Stepparent Magazine – a UK-based free resource for stepparents

• Stepmom Magazine – requires a subscription

• Support for Stepdads – one of the few resources out there just for stepdads!

• Find a Counselor – find coaches and counselors who are certified by the Stepfamily Foundation, a non-profit established in 1975 (many traditional counselors don’t understand blended family dynamics and will give you advice that ranges from unhelpful to flat-out wrong)

Books for Stepmoms

Hey stepdads! If you have any suggestions for books that have helped you, please get in touch.

• The Enlightened Stepmother: Revolutionizing the Role – Realistic and no-nonsense

• Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way We Do – Very well-researched, looks at the psychology of being a stepmom from a science-based perspective

• Stepmotherhood: How to Survive Without Feeling Frustrated, Left Out, or Wicked – I like that this book also includes a chapter to explain what husbands are going through.

Here’s how you can thrive as a new stepdad.

About the author

Gerardo Campbell married into a blended family, becoming the stepdad to his wife’s two children. In 2011, he started Support for Stepfathers to reverse the nearly 70% divorce rate for blended families in the US. His website is to help and inspire stepfathers, aspiring stepfathers, and the women who love them. You can follow Support for Stepdads on Twitter and Facebook.