Elephants And Stepfathers – A Short Story
The Role Of A Stepdad In Parenting
Here’s an interesting story from the KwaZulu-Natal’s Hluhluwe-Umfolozi (I know that’s a mouthful 🙂 ) Game Reserve in South Africa. Hluhluwe-Umfolozi is a giant park extending hundreds of miles of savanna and includes many plant and animal species. In the early 2000s, there was a mysterious rash of rhinoceroses, murders, and rapes in the park.
The park police investigated and found that “gangs” of young male elephants were responsible for the crimes. This is not normal elephant behavior. The park officials discovered this happened in South Africa’s Pilanesberg National Park in the early 90’s.
In Pilanesberg, young bull elephants committed similar acts while suffering from premature musth. Musth is a periodic condition of highly aggressive behavior in bull elephants and a significant rise in reproductive hormones.
These elephants had premature musths, and the conditions lasted much longer than usual for adult elephants. The aggressive behavior also was far more violent and destructive than anything previously observed.
What happened in both these parks may be underlying advice on how to raise children to become successful adults. The elephants of Hluhluwe-Umfolozi Game Reserve were young orphan male elephants reintroduced from Kruger Park. Consequently, there were no “older bulls” in Hluhluwe-Umfolozi Park.
The orphan boy elephants were confused by the aggressive feelings of musth. Unsure of how to channel their aggression, they began displaying sexually deviant and extremely violent behavior. Lacking old bulls for role models, the young elephants formed gangs and started raping and killing rhinos.
The park reintroduced 10 “old bulls,” and the gangs quickly disappeared. The “hypersexual” activity stopped, and so did the killings. The “old bulls” were role models the younger bulls intuitively knew to emulate. They taught what was acceptable, productive, and expected behavior for elephants. They mentored the younger bulls to become experienced in dealing with the consequences of musth.
While we’re not elephants, I feel there are close similarities between this story, the absence of fathers, and the effect on children in America. There is a growing crisis.—Fathers’ absence now affects 27 million children in America.
It’s linked to higher rates of poverty, failure in school, teen pregnancy, substance abuse, violent crime, depression, and ultimately, a loss of hope and a future. Our children are growing up in that culture, and it’s affecting them even if you are an involved dad.
If our culture continues on its current path, things will likely be much worse in all these areas for our grandchildren and great-grandchildren. To be sure, the problem of father-absence is worldwide and not restricted to the United States.
Manifestations of the effects vary from culture to culture, but they are all negative and reflect the need for present and involved fathers in our children’s lives. Your children need you – every child needs a stepdad they can count on. The “old bulls” need to step up. When we do, the herd will follow. Together, we can make a difference for the coming generations.
Here’s how stepdads can take the lead.
