Resources For Stepparents And Blended Families
I keep an ever-evolving list of helpful resources for stepparents and blended families, especially those in high-conflict custody situations. I only include here the ones I’ve read or used (and liked) myself. Any suggestions on more links I should add? Let me know!
New to this site?
Help for New or Struggling Stepmoms & Stepdads
-
Tips for dating with kids (also good for new stepmoms & stepdads)
-
The 2 most important lessons I learned as a stepmom: that it’s okay if you don’t love your stepkid and it’s okay that blended families are different from traditional families
-
What we’d do differently if we could start all over again from scratch
Disengaging Resources for Stepmoms & Stepdads
-
The Disengaging Essay – Explains the pressure cooker dynamics of blended family life and how stepping back can give you and your stepkids the room everyone needs to successfully blend
-
Not Your Circus, Not Your Monkeys: The Frustrated Stepparent’s Guide to Reclaiming Personal Peace – An ebook that answers the question “Yeah but HOW do I disengage?”
-
How normal stepparenting gets viewed as favoritism and double standards
Support for Stressed-out Stepmoms & Stepdads
Help for Blended Families in High Conflict
-
How to support your partner when they’re co-parenting with a narc ex
-
5 co-parenting tips that don’t work with a high-conflict ex (& what to do instead)
HELP for Co-parenting in High Conflict
-
Custody Chaos, Personal Peace – A godsend for us personally—crammed with strategies, examples, and tips for dealing with shared custody with a high-conflict co-parent
-
The Vampire Hunter’s Field Manual: A Survivors Guide to Narcissistic Abuse by Matt Davis
-
Our Family Wizard – A co-parenting app
-
Talking Parents – Another co-parenting app
Parental Alienation Resources
-
A stepparent’s guide to parental alienation – I have tons more PAS resources listed here!
-
Divorce Poison: How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing – The leading resource on parental alienation
-
Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind – Hopeful long-term look at the effects of parental alienation, including healing the parent-child relationship later in life
Books & WORKSHOPS for Stepparents & Blended Families
-
Blended Is Badass: Embracing the Awesome Messiness of Stepfamily Life
-
Dating with Kids: 9 Sanity-Savers That BOTH Partners Need to Know!
-
Not Your Circus, Not Your Monkeys: The Frustrated Stepparent’s Guide to Reclaiming Personal Peace
Resources for BIPOC & LGBTQ+ Stepparents
My Fave Podcasts for Stepmoms & Stepdads
-
Radical Stepmoms with Genet and Christina
-
Blendcredible Podcast with Tim Watson
-
Essential Stepmom Podcast with Tracy Poizner
-
Plus HER Podcast: A Stepmom’s Journey with Anne-Laurie Forbes
MORE Online Resources for Stepmoms & Stepdads
-
r/stepparents over on Reddit (start with the FAQ)
-
Guided Meditations for Stepmoms from Anna de Acosta
-
Stepparent Magazine – a UK-based free resource for stepparents
-
Stepmom Magazine – requires a subscription
-
Support for Stepdads – one of the few resources out there just for stepdads!
-
Find a Counselor – find coaches and counselors who are certified by the Stepfamily Foundation, a non-profit established in 1975 (many traditional counselors don’t understand blended family dynamics and will give you advice that ranges from unhelpful to flat-out wrong)
Books for Stepmoms
Hey stepdads! If you have any suggestions for books that have helped you, please get in touch.
-
The Enlightened Stepmother: Revolutionizing the Role – Realistic and no-nonsense
-
Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way We Do – Very well-researched, looks at the psychology of being a stepmom from a science-based perspective
-
Stepmotherhood: How to Survive Without Feeling Frustrated, Left Out, or Wicked – I like that this book also includes a chapter to explain what husbands are going through.
Here’s how you can thrive as a new stepdad.