Have you ever slept like a rock? The earliest use of pillows dates back to 7000 B.C. However, unlike our soft and fluffy pillows of today, these ancient pillows were made of stone. Pillows back then were only used by the wealthy. The more stone pillows you owned, the higher your social status.
Did you know pillows have a definite lifespan? Feather and down pillows could last up to 5 to 10 years. Polyester pillows should be replaced after 2 years.
Believe it or not, most pillows are nasty, even with a pillowcase. Sleep is when our bodies regenerate cells, both inside and out. As our cells regenerate, dead skin and oils fall on our pillows.
Also, pillows are homes to dust mites and other microscopic insects. While we can’t see them, these things could cause health issues and allergic reactions.
Make sure to wash your pillow covers every three weeks at most. Also, clean the pillow itself at least once every three months.
While laughter isn’t an allergic reaction these pillow jokes and puns are sure to trigger some laughs.
1. I accidentally dropped my pillow on the floor. I think it has a concushion.
2. I created a poll to see if people preferred pillows stuffed with bird feathers or pillows stuffed with synthetic material. Synthetic material didn’t win. Too many downvotes.
3. When I was a teenager, I used to punch my memory foam pillow when my anger was getting beyond control. Now it’s memorized all my moves, and I live in constant fear.
4. Last night, my daughter shouted downstairs, “Dad! My tooth has just fallen out into my drink!” “That’s great, darling!” I said. “Put it under your pillow and see what happens.”
A few minutes later she shouted, “Nothing’s happened dad and now my bed is completely soaked!”
5. I have the head of a watermelon, the arms of two French baguettes, the chest of two pillows. What am I? Banned from the supermarket.
6. Why did the pillow cross the road? Because it was cooler on the other side.
7. Well, I know it’s childish, but my girlfriend and I have just had a great time having a pillow fight and I won! The secret is to stuff a few grapefruits in there.
8. The Tooth Fairy wasn’t too impressed with the dentures I left under my pillow…tooth be trolled.
9. Confucious says, “He who sleeps on corduroy pillow make headlines.”
10. I said all pillows are uncomfortable and my friend slapped me. He said that’s a very blanket statement to make.
11. I was about to throw out my old pillows, then I thought nope, I’ll sleep on it.
12. I went to court after my pillow charged me with resisting a-rest. I lost the case.
13. I was looking for my pillow while I slept. Turns out it was right under my nose the whole time.
14. These long quarantines have been so difficult for many marriages. Luckily for me, I have an amazing wife. Just last night I woke up to her firmly pressing a pillow against my face to protect me from Covid-19.
15. I asked my pillow if it wanted a snack. It said, “No, thanks I’m stuffed”
You keep the faith, and with God, all things are possible. ~ Mike Lindell
Mike Lindell is the self-made multimillionaire and infomercial superstar who created the MyPillow empire from scratch in 2004.
He did it while addicted to drugs. “People say all the time that’s one of the biggest miracles ever.” Mike Lindell says there aren’t many crack addicts who’ve become successful, but he’s one of them. “It can be done, people,” he laughed.
He’s been clean and sober for over 10 years, but his path from rags to riches – and almost back to rags – is an amazing American success story. Read his story get his book, What Are The Odds?
About the author
In 1995, Gerardo Campbell married into a blended family, becoming the stepdad to his wife’s two children. In 2011, he started Support for Stepfathers to reverse the nearly 70% divorce rate for blended families in the US. His website is to help and inspire stepfathers, aspiring stepfathers, and women who love them. You can follow Support for Stepdads on
Twitter and
Facebook.
Can’t go wrong with some pillow puns! Resisting a-rest is pretty good…
Thank you for the feedback I’m happy you like the puns, there’s more where those came from.
Gerardo