Hilarious New Year Resolutions ~ Friday Humor

For the majority of us, 2020 represented the most difficult year in our lifetimes. We faced common challenges of the pandemic, mask-wearing, lockdowns, looting, rioting, racial unrest, unemployment, and business closures.

Knowing that it’s my sincere hope we can treat each other with a little more kindness and compassion. May 2021 bring you and your families, safety, health, happiness, peace, and prosperity.  

My sincere thanks to the people for not taking themselves too seriously by sharing their funny New Year’s resolution. Be prepared to put a smile on your face.

1. A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
2. I will come up with new excuses for not doing work rather than boring my boss with the same old ones that I have been using for years.
3. My New Year’s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.
4. My New Year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
5. I will exercise more self-control, though I already have a rule not to drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
6. I will come up with new excuses for not doing work rather than boring my boss with the same old ones that I have been using for years.
7. My New Year’s resolution is to not put myself in situations where I puke.
8. My resolution for 2020 is to eat fewer spiders in my sleep.
9. I’ve decided to leave my past behind me, so if I owe you money – I’m sorry but I’ve moved on.
10. My New Year’s resolution is to read more, so I turned on the subtitles on my TV.
11. I was going to give up all of my bad habits for 2021, but then I remembered that no one likes a quitter.
12. Actually put on a full outfit for Zoom calls (although let’s be real, business-on-top-PJs-below never hurt anyone).
13. Keep kicking ass and taking names, because detailed record-keeping is important.
14. Stop daring people to lick frozen flagpoles.
15. Dear Luck,…can we be friends in 2021, please?
16. I’m not buying a 2021 calendar until I see the trailer.
17. I will wash less and use more deodorant.
18. I will not blame my younger brother for wetting my bed. Especially if I don’t have a younger brother.
19. I will stop showing tricks with explosives.
20. May all your troubles last as long as your New Years’ resolutions?

The beginning of the year is a great time for families to reflect on all of the things they accomplished during the past year. It’s especially a great time for you to acknowledge all of your children’s achievements. Click here to get tips on how to make and keep your New Year’s family resolutions.

About the author

In 1995, Gerardo Campbell married into a blended family, becoming the stepdad to his wife’s two children. In 2011, he started Support for Stepfathers to reverse the nearly 70% divorce rate for blended families in the US. His website is to help and inspire stepfathers, aspiring stepfathers, and the women who love them. You can follow Support for Stepdads on Twitter and Facebook.