As a cadet, I enrolled in Army Airborne training at Fort Benning, Georgia. On the first day of training, we had physical training (PT). Because of the hot, humid conditions, we were instructed to remove our shirts and t-shirts to exercise in.
Well, one of the privates thought it was a good idea to get parachute wings tattooed on his chest. The sergeants didn’t agree. In fact, they were extremely agitated this lowly private could be so presumptive to get jump wings permanently tattooed on his body before completing the training.
I remember how the sergeants were conferencing in front of the increasingly nervous private as to what they should do about his infraction. One of the sergeants pulled out a huge Bowie knife suggesting they should cut off the tattoo. The private began trembling.
Anyway, they finally decided he should sweat it off so the private participated in extended PT sessions for the duration of the training. The private became the target of the training sergeant’s attention for the duration of training.
Enjoy these twenty Army jokes and puns.
1.What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran.
2. If God had meant for us to be in the Army, we would have been born with camouflaged skin.
4. Two privates are walking down the street. “Look, a dead bird. ”The second private looks up to the sky, “Where? I don’t see it!”
7. What do UFOs and smart Soldiers have in common? You hear about them all the time, but you never see one.
8. What do you call a fly in a Soldier’s head? Space invader.
10. The Army will arrest you if you make fun of an officer after dark. It’s known as a nocturnal diss-charge.
11. Overheard at the Veterans of Foreign Wars, “When I was in the Army, I got both my arms shot off.” “I shouldered on, anyway.”
12. Two Army 2nd lieutenants in North Carolina were going into the training area at night and were arguing about distances. One said, “OK, Genius, which is closer, the Moon or Florida?”
The second one said, “DUH? The moon is closer. You can’t see Florida!”
13. Why do military men often marry lovers from the foreign countries in which they’re deployed?
Because when they finally come home, they get to leave their in-laws thousands of miles away.
14. Why did the Soldier put dynamite in his trunk? In case he needed to blow up his tires.
15. What do you call 16 Soldiers standing in a room around a beer keg? A dope ring.
16. What’s does a Soldier make for dinner? Reservations.
17. What do you call an army of sheep? A 𝘉𝘢𝘢𝘩-ttalion.
18. What does ARMY stand for? The Airforce Rejected Me Yesterday.
19. What do you call a Soldier who scores well in an IQ test? A cheat.
20. Why did the Soldier cut a hole in the carpet? To see a floor show.
Have you heard about Army Sergeant Philip Harrison? Click here to read about this special stepdad and the role in his stepson’s life.
