I remember how the words, “Back to School” meant the sad end of nearly a three-month vacation. The end of staying up late, sleeping in, and having a blast in various summer activities.
It meant the return to waking up early, quizzes and tests, and dreadful essays and term papers. In 2020, the words “Back to School” raises concerns of parents for the health and safety of their children.
This school year will be nothing like we’ve experienced as parents. Yet we realize the importance of school attendance in the academic, socialization, and emotional development of our children.
I hope these few jokes help to ease some of your fears and bring a smile to your face. The majority of these jokes are kid-friendly/understandable so your kiddo would appreciate hearing some of these from you as well.
1. I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. – Mark Twain
2. Luke comes home from his first day of school, and his mother asks, “What did you learn today?” “Not enough,” Luke replies. “They said I have to go back tomorrow.” – Luke C., Somers, N.Y.
3. My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I’ve endured over the past twenty-five years. – Paul Merton
4. A book never written: “The Best Subject in School” by Jim Class. – Ian B., Howell, N.J
5. I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100. – Woody Allen
6. Math teacher: A man from Los Angeles drove toward New York at 250 miles per hour and a man from New York drove toward Los Angeles at 150 m.p.h. Where did they meet? Johnny: In jail! – Glenn J., Santa Ana, Calif.
7. My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section. – Norm Crosby
8. Teacher: Why can’t you work in an orange juice factory? Student: I don’t know. Why?
Teacher: Because you can’t concentrate! – Caleb S., Mount Vernon, Mo.
9. Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
10.I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. – Yogi Berra
11. Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? Donald: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: What are you talking about? Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O. – Caleb R., Jackson, Mich.
12. In elementary school, in case of fire, you have to line up quietly in a single file line from the smallest to the tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower? – Warren Hutcherson
13. You learn something every day if you pay attention. – Ray LeBlond
14. Why would a music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
15. What kind of school do you go to if you’re – a surfer? Boarding school
if you’re a big giant? High school
if you’re King Arthur? Knight school
if you’re an ice cream man? Sundae school.
16. What school subject is a witch good at? Spelling.
17. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you? Pick them up and roll them back to her!
18. If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. – Edgar W. Howe
19. Why can’t you do a math test in the jungle? There are too many cheetahs!
20. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal? I wouldn’t do it, principals don’t like to be crossed!
If you’re a stepdad back-to-school preparation involves more than making sure your child is equipped with pencil and paper. Click here to find out.
