A man’s 13-year-old son threatens to break his Xbox unless the dad buys him a brand new one. He asks, “What should I do? Should I just cave and buy him a new one?”
Do you really think it’s a good idea to essentially reward your son’s bad attitude by caving into his immature demands by buying him a new Xbox?
Giving in to his demand will enable his behavior and serve to encourage similar instances like this into the future. It will be more than just a financial cost you and the rest of the family will have to bear.
If your son threatens to break his old Xbox – absolutely do not buy him a brand new one when this happens. Instead, let him live with the natural consequences of his behavior, for example, no Xbox. Discuss this with your wife to make sure you’re both on the same page.
As a point of learning, consider agreeing to pay a portion of the Xbox provided he raises the money to pay the balance. Your job as a parent is not to raise a happy child but a functioning, well-rounded adult.
There’re no bad children just bad behavior. Every parent must thrive to reinforce good behavior by teaching kids to deal with situations with a clear head and a calm mind. Here are some tips to guide you in disciplining your kids.
Distinguish Discipline from Punishment
These are two different things, although they have much in common. Discipline may include punishment only when you pursue some serious and profound aims. Remember, discipline teaches your children to distinguish bad choices from good ones. Discipline also helps them to improve their self-control – an essential element of good character.
Teaching Natural Consequence
One of the most effective discipline tools any parent or stepparent has to help them in raising children is natural consequence. Natural consequences work best with older children. Younger children don’t understand that the consequences are the direct result of their actions.
The concept of natural consequence is a tool to use when the safety of the child isn’t a factor. For example, a child neglects to get a school assignment completed. If the parent doesn’t intervene and the child receives detention at school for punishment, they’re less likely to repeat the behavior.
Be an Example
Remember, from the very beginning of life, children follow the behavior which they observe. So, try to be an example for your child and prove your words with the actions. You won’t gain the result if you will teach him the things you don’t follow by yourself.
Moreover, you can demonstrate vividly the positive consequences of submitting to discipline which will encourage your child to behave correctly.
Coordinate the Reaction with the Other Parent
It won’t bring you the wanted result, if the things which you forbid, will be allowed by the other parent. Both of you should react equally to the undisciplined behavior, come to cooperation, and be firm in your arguments, which should coincide with the other parent.
Talk to Your Child
It will be much easier to solve the problems with your child if you’ll listen to his opinion. It is a very important factor for both of you, just talk a little bit, ask about the things that make him sad, and start bringing up the point further. Don’t get angry or annoyed while talking to your child – listen attentively and show him his opinion is important to you.
Set Appropriate Limits
Limits train discipline greatly, but you shouldn’t exaggerate while setting them. You can repeat them as many times as you need to assure your child that these actions are wrong. Limits involve certain rules, which a child should follow.
Be consistent with your restrictions and don’t let your child make you change your decision. If there is a certain rule, it should be followed in any situation, if the child’s crying change your mind – it won’t make good for both of you.
Give a Choice to Your Child
It is an effective technique in determining discipline. The choice can be slight and unimportant, but it will show your child you value and will consider their opinion.
Consequently, they feel their significance and independence. Moreover, children who make the choice at an early age are better prepared to make a difficult decision in the future.
A disciplined child behaves well out of the home, easily makes friends, and is considered to be a good company. He deserves responsible tasks, which you are not afraid to give him. There’re also fewer chances your child will be a part of a bad company.
Finally, you know what to do if your son threatens to break his Xbox or steps out of line. To develop and maintain a healthy relationship with your child, you need to differentiate between discipline and punishment. Find out here.
