In the US and probably worldwide, people are counting on their truck drivers to help make sure grocery shelves are kept stocked as we build upon on toilet paper hoards and non-perishables as a result of the coronavirus pandemic. The majority of drivers are working under stressful conditions, including longer hours, crowded truck stops, difficulties finding food, in addition to health and safety concerns.
Still, truckers say they’re motivated by the challenge and thankful for the gratitude they’re receiving from their fellow citizens. Next time you see a trucker, be sure to let know they’re appreciated. Enjoy these jokes and puns about truck drivers.
1. I have two friends, an astronaut, and a truck driver. I like the truck driver more because he seems more down to earth than the astronaut.
2. A tow truck driver is pulling a lady out of the ditch. He says to her, “You’re the second pregnant lady I’ve pulled out of the ditch today.” With a bit of confusion, she hastily replies, “I’m not pregnant.” He pauses and calmly states, “you’re not out of the ditch yet.”
3. A truck driver found a genie. Genie: I grant you one wish. Driver: I need a clean, toll-free personal road from NY to CA.
Genie: Well, that’s a governmental issue. Many states and federal agencies involved. I can’t grant you that – anything else for sure.
Driver: How about my wife liking my family. Genie: How many lanes you need?
One day, Nate was bored, so he decided to cross the street and check out this world-ending lever. However, on his way across the street, a truck came speeding down the road. This truck driver had two options. Either hit Nate and kill him, or swerve, and hit the lever, ending the world. Not wanting to end the world, the truck driver hit Nate, killing him instantly. Moral of the story: Better Nate than lever.
She says, “It’s perfect! Seven is my favorite number and apples are my favorite fruit, how did you know?” Being an honest man, he replies, “I didn’t.” “Why would you give them to me then,” she asks, confused. “Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.”
9. I just got hired as a garbage truck driver. There wasn’t any training, but I think I’ll pick it up as I go along.
10. “You can’t keep these penguins in your truck!” The cop said, “You need to take them to the zoo!”
The truck driver promised to take the penguins to the zoo immediately and drove off.
The next day the cop pulled the same truck driver over. The truck was still full of penguins.
“Didn’t I tell you to take the penguins to the zoo?” The cop asked angrily.
“I did that yesterday!” The truck driver said, “Today, we’re going to the movies!”
11. A truck driver was speeding down the highway. A police officer is on his tail, lights flashing. It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck. The officer gets out of his car and comes to talk to the driver. Driver: “Afternoon officer.” Officer: “Do you know why I pulled you over?” Driver: “Yessir, I was speeding.” “Oh?” exclaims the officer, a bit surprised. “And do you have a reason for speeding?” Driver: “Yessir. My wife left me this morning.” Officer: “I’m sorry to hear that, but that doesn’t count as a valid excuse for speeding, sir.”
Driver: “Well, sir. She left me for a police officer. And I thought you were bringing her back.”
12. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
13. Working for the carnival, I hauled the world’s most giant pair of glasses the other week. It was quite a spectacle.
14. A truck carrying expensive watches spilled on the highway. It cost him a lot of time.
15. What did the icy road say to the truck? “Want to go for a spin?”
16. A trucker gets lost one day, and as luck would have it, he comes to a low bridge and gets stuck under it. The cars are backed up for miles behind him. Eventually, a cop car pulls up. The cop gets out and walks around to the truck driver. He puts his hands on his hips and says to him, “Got stuck, huh, sir?” The trucker replies, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”
17. One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi-truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Do you like donuts? So do police officers. Learn about how the relationship between donuts and police officers developed and get a few laughs in the process.
