Yesterday, I received the following from a biodad who I’ll call Mike.
At what point does being kind to your ex-wife’s new partner become when you’ve had enough? My ex’s new husband is disrespectful to my children and is constantly making remarks to them about me. I have let a lot go, but I continually think if the time has come for me to put my hands on him.
I am a church-going man, but at some point, it has to stop. I have addressed it to her, and she doesn’t say much. What do you suggest my next step should be?
Hi Mike
Thank you for reaching out for help with what must be a frustrating and challenging problem. Your patience under these circumstances is truly admirable.
Since you’re a church-going man, I encourage you to continue remaining nice as a Godly example to your children and ex. While I certainly can appreciate your increasing anger, I’m sure you realize laying your hands on the stepdad would only provide short-term satisfaction with long-term negative consequences.
I feel your next step should be to follow up with your ex, especially since you’ve already addressed it with her. I suggest you engage a third party, preferably someone you both know and trust like a pastor or a marriage family therapist.
A joint meeting with an agreed-upon third party allows you to air your concerns in a safe environment for you and your ex. Additionally, it ensures your ex understands how serious you consider her husband’s behavior.
Finally, you may consider consulting your attorney to explore your options if the stepdad’s negative behavior continues.
Readers, do you agree or disagree with what I had to say? Do you have some advice to share with Mike? Please leave it in the Comments. Thank you.
