New England – the birthplace of America is made up of these six states: Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, and Rhode Island. I traveled through New England years ago and saw the home of Steven King in Bangor Maine, learned a bulkie was another name for a hamburger bun and that leaf-peeping wasn’t a sex crime. Here are some wicked New England jokes for your amusement.
- Lived in this town all your life? Answer: No, not yet.
- Can you tell me how to get to Wheelock? Answer: Well now, if I were going to Wheelock, I don’t believe I’d start from here.
- Edward, you know we used to sit a lot closer together when we were courtin’. Answer: I haven’t moved.
- Nice little town – so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right? Answer: Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.
- I wasn’t born in New England, so I realize I’ll never be a native. But since my three children were born in Putney, Vermont, aren’t they natives? Answer: Well, if your cat happened to have kittens in the oven, would you call ’em biscuits?
- Somebody needs to explain to me why all the mail I send to New England……ends up in Nebraska (NE)…
- How many Vermonters does it take to change a light bulb? Three: one to change it and two to talk about how much better the old one was.
- What is the official snack food of the Boston Red Sox and New England Patriots? Cheat-o’s
- In England, they drive on the left side of the road. In New England, you drive on what’s left of the road.
- A woman fell off a fishing boat just off the coast of Maine and was devoured by a giant shellfish. You might say a New England clam chowed her.
- A liar, a murderer, and a cheater walk into a bar. The New England Patriots must be in town.
- What do you call a Massachusite who cuts down trees? In a New England accent…a Boston lager.
- It’s spring in New England, so I bought a high-quality bug zapper to help deal with all those pests. I woke up to protests outside my house.
- How do they separate the men from the boys in Maine? With a restraining order.
- What happened when a Maine fisherman was late to work? She lobster her job.
- What are the four seasons called in New England? Almost winter, Winter, Still Winter, and three months of bad sledding.
- A Southern man goes into a New England bar. He orders a beer and, making small talk, asks the bartender, “Did y’all go to Hahvurd?” The bartender replies, “Yale.””Okay,” says the Southern man. “DID Y’ALL GO TO HAHVURD?”
- That billionaire from New England is innocent. He thought he was buying a hookah.
- The New Hampshire lottery is selling scratch ‘n sniff tickets that smell like bacon. The aroma is there to remind people that if they didn’t waste their money on lottery tickets, they could afford to eat bacon.
- How many Vermonters does it take to eat a raccoon? Two: One to eat and one to watch for traffic.
- Do you know why they buried George H. W. in Houston instead of his beloved Kennebunkport? Because it’s way too cold for planting Bushes in Maine.
- Do you know you can’t hang a man with a wooden leg in Maine? You have to use a rope.
- How do you stop a moose from charging? Take away his credit card!
When you encourage others, you in the process are encouraged because you’re making a commitment and difference in that person’s life. Encouragement really does make a difference. ~ Zig Ziglar
