Humor

Thanksgiving Jokes And Puns ~ Friday Humor

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. These Thanksgiving jokes will give you pumpkin to talk about – they’re plucking hilarious.


A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The boy replied, “No, ma’am. They’re dead.”

“What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.”

If you call a large turkey a gobbler, what do you call a small one? Goblet.
 
 
A new survey found that 80% of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense, when you hear they consider saying ‘that smells good’ to be helping. ~ Jimmy Fallon
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he’s already stuffed!
 
Getting the longer part of the wishbone is a snap.
 
We’ll worry about the Christmas tree later. Today it’s all about the poul-tree.
 
Mashed potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole on Thanksgiving, there’s always more than one side to the story.
 
Remember: Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, not your carbs.
 
Why didn’t the cook bother to season the Thanksgiving turkey? She didn’t have thyme!
 
Did you know the pilgrims made their own special dinner rolls for the first Thanksgiving? They came from the May-flour!
 
What dish should a rich guy bring to a Thanksgiving potluck? The cash-erole!
 
What does a one-legged turkey say? Wobble wobble!
 
What’s the most popular videogame among turkeys? Turkey Tetris-zzini!
 
What do you do with a stoner turkey? Make turkey pot pie!
 
I’d like to cut back on the Thanksgiving leftovers, but I can’t quit cold turkey.
 
“Thanksgiving reminds us that no matter what befalls us in life, we can take the charred remnants and we can reconstruct a life unimaginably richer than that from which the shards and pieces fell.” ~ Craig D. Lounsbrough
 
About the author

About the author

In 1995, Gerardo Campbell married his now ex-wife becoming the stepdad to her two children. In 2011, he started Support for Stepfathers to reverse the nearly 70% divorce rate for blended families in the US. His website is to help and inspire stepfathers, aspiring stepfathers and the women who love them worldwide. You can follow Support for Stepdads on Twitter and Facebook.
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