As part of my effort to be “fair and balanced” here are 12 jokes on the West coast’s most popular city.
1. Why does New York have lots of garbage and Los Angeles has lots of lawyers? Because New York got to pick first!
2. ENTER NOW TO WIN! Second Prize Winner gets a two-week Los Angeles vacation! First Prize Winner gets a one-week vacation in Los Angeles.
3. How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport? Re:LAX.
4. What happens when the fog lifts in Los Angeles? UCLA
5. Where’s the best view of falling stars in Los Angeles? The Betty Ford Clinic.
6. There was a burglary last night at the Los Angeles Police Department headquarters. The thief or thieves stole all of the toilets. When asked about the investigation, an LAPD spokesman said they have nothing to go on.
7. 5.5 Quake Shakes L.A. Every 20 years or so, a large earthquake rattles Los Angeles as a result of the tremendous buildup of pressure in every Angeleno to talk about something other than show business. ~ Scott Miller
8. “Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.” ~ David Letterman
9. “L.A. is nothing but a bunch of driving, and I hate all that damn driving ‘cause it interferes with my drinking.” ~ Wanda Sykes
10. “Homeless people in L.A. are different. Do you ever notice that? Our homeless people are serious, man. They have signs that not only say, ‘Will work for food,’ some of them have what they want: ‘baked potato, salad, shrimp, sweet-potato pie, sour chives.’” ~ A.J. Jamal
11. “I prefer New York to Los Angeles because I get paid three hours earlier.” ~ Henny Youngman
12. “I mean, who would want to live in a place where the only cultural advantage is you can turn right on a red light?” ~ Woody Allen and Marshall Brickman
“Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that’s real power.” ~ Clint Eastwood
