Humor
Even More Puns ~ Friday Humor
Just when I think I’ve found them all, I discover a fresh supply. Back by popular demand, even more, puns…
- What do you call an overweight psychic? A four-chin teller!
- What did the mayonnaise say when somebody opened the refrigerator? “Hey, close the door! I’m dressing!”
- Time flies like an arrow… Fruit flies like a banana!
- How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
- Apple is designing a new automatic car. But they’re having trouble installing Windows!
- That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
- I’ve started sleeping in our fireplace. Now I sleep like a log!
- I have a few jokes about unemployed people… But none of them work!
- Every soccer player’s favorite beverage? Penal-tea!
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s okay. He woke up!
- Why do eggs hate jokes? The answer cracks them up!
- I used to wonder why Frisbees looked bigger the closer they came… And then it hit me!
- Two egotists started a fight. It was an I for an I!
- I’m glad I know sign language. It can come in pretty handy!
- Looks tasty. Gimme a pizza that.
- Cactus puns are simply succulent.
- I wanted to take pictures of the fog this morning… But I mist my chance. I guess I could dew it tomorrow!
- Why did the scientist install a knocker on his front door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!
- Unfortunately, my dad passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
- Did you hear about the guy who had his left leg and left arm amputated after a car crash? He’s all right now!
- I became a vegetarian. Huge missed-steak!
- What should you call an average potato? A commen-tator!
- I bought some shoes in the drug black market…I don’t know what they’re laced with, but I’ve been tripping all day!
- Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink!
- I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
- Why did the grizzly hate this article? He can’t bear puns!
“Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.” ~ Will Rogers
Would you like some more? Click here to get 26 hand-selected puns.