Forty Exercises For Your Brain ~ Friday Humor
Ready to break a sweat? According to a 2016 study by University of Windsor psychologists, understanding and appreciating a punny wordplay joke requires both hemispheres of your brain, the left and right sides, to work together to decipher a joke’s meaning.
Reading a wordplay joke – even a really silly one – is like exercise for your brain. You’re welcome. 😛
Here are 40 wordplay jokes that are maybe a little silly and stupid, but it will take your entire brain to make sense of them. So stretch, get loose and get ready to exercise your brain.
- Do you know the soul singer Marvin Gaye used to keep a sheep in a vineyard? He’d herd it through the grapevine!
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I Googled “how to start a wildfire.” I got 48,500 matches!
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What’s the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause!
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Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Everything’s fine. He woke up. But, according to your kid, they pay attention in school!
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How can you get four suits for a dollar? Buy a deck of cards!
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I was hoping to steal some leftovers from the party. But my plans were foiled
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Jokes about teachers on summer break are not funny. They’re just not working!
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What do you call someone wearing a belt with a watch attached to it? A waist of time!
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I call toilets “the Jim” instead of “the John.” So I can tell people, “I visit the Jim several times a day!”
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What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? One says, “Spit out your gum,” and the other says, “Choo choo choo!”
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Money doesn’t grow on trees, right? So why does every bank have so many branches.
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My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
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Vegans believe meat eaters and butchers are gross. But those who sell you fruits and vegetables are grocer!
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What does a grape say after it’s stepped on? Nothing. It just lets out a little wine!
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I dig, you dig, she dig, we dig, you dig. The poem may not be beautiful, but it’s certainly very deep!
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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the long face?”
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When you get depressed in the middle of winter, just chuck some butter from your window. You’ll see a butterfly!
- What do computers snack on? Microchips!
- Somebody stole all my lamps. I couldn’t be more delighted!
- Did you hear about the guy who broke his left arm and leg? He’s all right now!
- I was recently diagnosed with color-blindness. It came out of the green!
- Why did the pig leave the party early? Because everyone thought he was a boar!
- Three guys walk into a bar. They all said, ouch!
- I’ve been having insomnia, so I’ve started sleeping in our fireplace. Now I sleep like a log!
- What did the policeman say to his belly button? You’re under a vest!
- I once worked in a bank… But then I lost interest!
- A friend’s dog swallowed a few coins. He’s keeping his eye on it, but says there’s no change yet!
- I bought an Impressionist painting, but my cat scratched it. So I’m now selling it on, as a clawed Monet!
- You’re becoming a vegetarian? I think that’s a big missed steak!
- Why don’t teddy bears ever order dessert? Because they’re always stuffed!
- What do you say to a drunk who walks into a bar with jumper cables? “You can stay. Just don’t try to start anything!”
- I’d love to know how the Earth rotates. It would totally make my day!
- What does a dog say when he sits down on a piece of sandpaper? Ruff!
- Thirty-seven consonants, 25 vowels, a question mark, and a comma went to court. They will be sentenced next Friday!
- I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there!
- What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it? An envelope!
- An English teacher asked a student to name two pronouns. The student answered, “Who, me?”
- Members of the archery club sometime meet at the cheese shop. Just to shoot the Bries!
- I read a book about World War II that was only four pages long. It was Abridged Too Far!