Humor

Friday Humor ~ A Major Asks For The Lieutenant

A major arrives at a remote outpost. “Where’s your lieutenant?” he asks a private.


“Sir, there isn’t a lieutenant assigned to this post.”

The major responds, “I was told there was.”

“No, sir, there’s no lieutenant here.”

“I’m pretty sure there is.”

The private thinks about it for a moment. “Well, Major, if I may ask you a question, imagine you took the word ‘rifle’ and removed the letter ‘f’, what would remain?”

“Well, “rile” I suppose.”

“That’s what I thought. And sir, if you took the word ‘draft’ and removed the letter “f”, what would remain?”

Amused, the major answers, “Drat” I guess.”

“And sir, if you took the word “lieutenant” and removed the letter “f”, what would remain?”

The major says, “There is no “f” in lieutenant.”

“That’s what I have been trying to tell you, sir. There is no effin lieutenant.”

“We sleep safely at night because rough men stand ready to visit violence on those who would harm us.” ~ Winston S. Churchill

Find more funny jokes and stories in the Humor archive.

About the author

About the author

In 1995, Gerardo Campbell married his now ex-wife becoming the stepdad to her two children. In 2011, he started Support for Stepdads to reverse the nearly 70% divorce rate for blended families in the US. His website is to help and inspire stepfathers, aspiring stepfathers and the women who love them worldwide. You can follow Support for Stepdads on Twitter and Facebook.

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