General

I Would Like A Raise

A pastor’s wife was expecting a baby. The pastor stood before the church membership and requested a raise.


After much lively discussion, the congregation passed a rule that whenever the pastor’s family expanded, so would his paycheck.

After six kids, this was getting expensive. The congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the pastor’s climbing salary.

A great deal of yelling, arguing and bickering ensued, as to how much the pastor’s additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.

After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, “Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us.”

Silence fell over the congregation. In the back of the church, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, “Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers.”

The entire congregation said, “Amen.” Gotta love those senior citizens.

“Anyone can count the seeds in an apple. However, only God can count the number of apples in a seed.” ~ Robert H. Schuller

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