Tips For Dads To Avoid The Short End In A Divorce

Harper Harmon10/15/2017

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dads avoiding the short end in a divorce - the gulf between a dad and his wife and children on the other side

Many believe it’s a foregone conclusion fathers get shafted during divorce proceedings. The fact of the matter is, this isn’t always the case.

Table of Contents

The bottom line is fathers can get a fair shake if they avoid common pitfalls once divorce proceedings get underway. If you keep it real, chances are likely you won’t be deprived of seeing your kids or have your bank account gouged.

Don’t Voluntarily Leave Your Home

Where is it written a man has to move out of his house? This is a common mistake many men make.

If the situation is acrimonious, it may not be the ideal situation.

If you bought the house during your marriage, the house is also yours.

Unless a judge states otherwise, you have every right to stay in the house. As long as you’re contributing and caring for your children, should you have any, you are well within your rights.

Transparency Will Go a Long Way

Absolutely do not hide your assets.

This is like placing your head on the chopping block. Just tell the truth, in the long run you’ll be better off for it.

Don’t let your greed or personal feelings about your wife make you do something stupid. Contact an attorney to help resolve things.

Resist Bad-Mouthing Your Ex

Don’t run your mouth. I don’t care what your wife has done. Whatever motivation you have to cuss her out or speak bad about her, resist.

Calling your wife names and talking badly about her is only going to put you in a bad light.

It comes off as petty and bitter. And how do you know she isn’t recording you when go on your cursing spree?

When she gets into the courtroom, all she has to do is hit play.

Public Venting Is a No No

Stay off of social media. If you can’t, post wisely.

Don’t get on social media venting about your spouse and situation.

This is something else that can be used against you. If you want to vent, do it with a trusted friend.

If you want a fair shake in court do anything that can incriminate you later.

Don’t Flaunt New Relationships

Okay, so you’ve found someone else. You’d be well advised to keep this situation under wraps while you’re going through a divorce.

Flaunting a new relationship definitely won’t go over well with your kids for starters. If custodial issues arise, this could put you in a very bad light.

And spending money on the new lady in your life ammo when it comes to alimony.

Divorces can be messy for all parties involved. It’s especially difficult on the relationship between the father and child, even if it’s a stepfather-type of relationship.

According to a study done by Portland State University, “divorce or separation generally increases the emotional and physical distance between the child and father, thereby effecting a change in the function of the father and his relationship with his child.”

However, by understanding the difficulties all parties go through, being patient throughout the process, listening to the issues at hand and working together with your spouse, the attorneys and all involved, good things are bound to happen and the relationships that have been established between fathers and children will be able to continue.

About the author

I’m Harper Harmon a freelance writer and blogger who focuses on business, health and other various topics. I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in communication from UCLA and currently reside in Santa Cruz with my dog, Sassy.

Divorce affects more than the couple involved. Divorce casts its shadow on friends, family and in particular the children of the divorcing couple. Get tips on talking to your children about divorce.