How to Get Your Family Moving Forward After Divorce
Following a divorce, you’ll likely experience a wide range of emotions and feelings of uncertainties. The emotions and fears of your children may be different from yours, but they are certainly no less significant.
This will give you the courage you need to move forward.
Difficult Questions, Honest Answers
Your kids are going to have questions during and after the divorce. As best you can, and in accordance to their age and level of understanding, answer their questions honestly.
Keep the atmosphere positive when talking with your kids. Explain that changes will occur and point out some of the advantages to those changes. Having to find good things about the changes to share with your kids will force you to search for the positive things that lie ahead.
Having to Relocate
If getting a divorce requires you to move to another house, this may be upsetting to you and your kids. Depending on how far away you plan to move, you and your kids may have to leave extended family members and close friends behind.
Be sure to arrange time for everyone to say their goodbyes. Your children may want to say goodbye to some of their favorite places such as the playground, their school or their favorite eating place.
Being given this opportunity for closure can help them move forward. The same is true for you.
To decrease the stress you and your children feel during this time, you should consider getting help with the moving process from a professional company, such as Bekins Van Lines Inc.
Maintain Traditions
Just because the path of your family is taking a different turn, doesn’t mean you have to give up traditions. Traditions have the ability to hold a family together and offer stability, which is why such things should be held onto more than ever.
Your children may have to spend time with your ex during some of the holidays. However, you can change it up and still celebrate it your own way with them. I mean, who doesn’t love an early Christmas?!
There are also a ton of holidays you can make a bigger deal out of. For example, you can turn St. Patrick’s Day into a bigger holiday by going to an Irish festival, giving your children symbolic Irish-themed gifts, and, even, having the Leprechaun bring your children (especially the younger ones) little gifts every year—like chocolates, mini Lucky Charms cereal boxes, and coins.
Whatever holidays you get, make the most of it and give it the value that other typical big holidays have.
Stay Focused
Immediately after your divorce you should set some new goals, even though you may not know how you’re going to achieve those goals. Having a plan gives you the motivation to look ahead, not backward.
You can help your kids set new, easily attainable goals. This will help them feel positive and hopeful about their new life. These goals can relate to your children’s grades to new skills that they want to gain.
For yourself, they can be things from getting a new job to when you want to be back in the dating game by.
The post divorce period can be a time filled with emotional highs and lows and feelings of regret and anticipation. Do your best to focus on the positive aspect of your new life. Your kids will pick up on your emotions so keeping them upbeat will be beneficial to their adjustment period as well.
