Transitioning to life as a newly married couple can have its difficulties. If there are children involved, the transition can be even more difficult and stressful. Getting married should be a joyful time of love and shared happiness, but we all know the stress of suddenly sharing two lives can result in unanticipated problems.
When sharing your lives means sharing kids, it can be even more complicated. Fortunately, there are several ways couples can smoothly transition into a blended family. Below are some tips for making everyone happy and settled with a new jump like this.
Communicate
Ideally, you and your spouse will want to start talking with the children before the marriage. Let them know about the changes they can expect once you’re married. Additionally, you and your future spouse should talk about how the two of you will adjust to the changes. Talk with each other. Always stay open for questions or concerns anyone may have.
It helps when there is an open channel of communication everyone feels comfortable with.
This way no one gets their feelings hurt. Any questions can be addressed for the whole family.
Be Consistent With Child-Rearing
Merging families means you will also be adopting each parent’s communication tactics, discipline styles and rules. You and your spouse will probably not agree with each other’s parenting methods all of the time. However, the two of you will need to come to an agreement on major issues, such as household chores, homework and bedtime.
Children need consistency, and if you and your spouse are on the same page, it will make things easier for everyone. Talk through your different approaches and see if you can’t come up with a decent compromise for everyone.
Help Your Stepchildren Feel Cared For
Adjusting to a blended family is not only difficult for the parents, but it’s also difficult for the children. Stepchildren often feel as though they are unwanted by one parent. This is why it is important for you to help your stepchildren feel cared about.
Spend time with your stepchildren, talk with them, and try to bond with them. Additionally, you should encourage your spouse to bond with your children. You may not be able to be great friends right away, but if they can at least trust you, your relationship can go a long way.
Hold Regular Family Meetings
Silence is not always a good thing. It’s easier for some people to keep problems to themselves than it’s to complain about them. However, problems get worse if no one talks about them. According to Donald B. Phelps Law Corporation regular family meetings are extremely important for blended families.
It gives everyone time to talk about the problems bothering them. Family meetings also give people the opportunity to come up with solutions to problems. You should encourage everyone to speak up when they are having a problem.
Do Not Neglect Your Spouse
Many people spend so much time trying to adjust to a blended family and bond with their stepchildren, they forget about their spouse.
Additionally, the two of you should also have regular date nights.
Most family lawyers will tell you adjusting to a blended family is not easy. Fortunately, communicating ahead of time will make things easier for everyone. You and your spouse should be consistent with child-rearing, and spend a lot of time together. Help everyone feel loved and important as you take this big step together.
