Stepfathers should accept they will be almost always kept at arms-length by their stepteen. Teens are moody and temperamental by nature. Add in a stepfather, and you’ve got a potential recipe for chaos. 
Understandably, many teens have very good relationships with their stepdads. But when a stressful event happens, even the strongest relationship is going to feel strained.
For instance, your stepteen has a car accident with your vehicle. Your first reaction is to panic and make sure they are okay. You are not even concerned about the car; after all it is just a car. However, your teen has gone into defense mode. They don’t want to talk to you, deal with you, or for that matter even look at you. What can you do?
Helping Without Crossing Boundaries
• Make Sure your Teen Receives Medical Care. Even if they insist they’re okay, have them examined. If you need to, have their mom get involved and demand a medical exam.
• Hire an Attorney. You’ll need to find a personal injury attorney to represent your teen and make a claim for compensation. By doing so, you also are showing your teen you care.
• Stand Back and Allow your Teen to Approach You. It is easy to assume they are terrified at what your reaction will be about the entire event. Stay supportive and allow them to approach you.
• Be There for Them. Don’t be overbearing and just be there for your teen. Give them rides to the doctor, just the two of you. Go to the attorney with them and allow them to act grown-up by answering their own questions unless they ask for help. Be the support system in the background.
• Ask your Teen About how they Feel. Did they have questions about what happened? Do they have anything they would like to talk about surrounding the accident? Even if they choose not to open up to you the first time you ask these questions, it will be ingrained in their minds you cared enough to ask.
Dealing with a teenager is hard during any situation. All parents step or not, face issues as their teens struggle to grow into adults. Parents will face many challenges during this time period. Some of these challenges will be pleasant, others will not. Either way, being a loving and supportive parent is all you can do to help yourself and your teen.
Most dads do not want to think about being a shadow support system, but this is your best option. Fathers want to take charge, protect and defend, make everything better. That is what they do. Having to stand aside and let your teen make some decisions or rely on only their mother during this crisis is hard. It makes you feel left out. It makes you feel as if your family does not believe you can make everything better. It makes you feel like a dad of a teenager.
Teresa Stewart is a freelance writer who frequently researches car accidents. She has found that Auger & Auger attorneys at law, http://www.augerlaw.com/raleigh-car-accident-lawyer/, provides each client with personalized attention by speaking directly with insurance companies and ensuring that their clients receive the medical care that they require.
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