They say life begins at 40 right? I’m completely clueless as to who exactly “they” are, but the phrase has been around as long as I can recall and it still sounds as condescending today as the first time I heard it. But to some extent it’s true.
By 40, there’s every chance your children will be at an age where they can look after themselves. The mortgage will be (at least partially) paid off. You’ll have more free time to enjoy yourself, travel, ignite new passions and really experience all that life has to offer.
But what if you’ve clicked past the big “4-0” and you’re still single? Finding a life partner or even just somebody to share a few drinks and laughs with may not be so easy once you reach “a certain age.” When we’re younger, our confidence levels are at their highest and we simply go out more so have more opportunities in which we can meet new people.
By 40 though, you might have been in the same job, with the same people for more than a decade and it’s perfectly feasible you’ve already met everyone you’re ever going to meet in your social circle. In this case, you might want to consider the world of online dating.
While you wouldn’t be blamed for baulking at the very idea of putting yourself out there online for all to see and judge (we’ve all heard the horror stories), online dating is far more common now than you might think. It’s also a more accessible experience, with more dating sites available than ever before, many of which are geared primarily towards older singletons.
The best thing about these sites is they are free from the kind of judgmental, snobbish language you’d have expected to find throughout the early years of the internet. Online dating has evolved and what we have now is a variety of options for those of us “looking for love online.” Here we’ll be looking at the three cost models used for the majority of modern dating sites and concluding which one is most suitable for those in their Summer and Autumn years.
Free Online Dating Sites
Probably the most popular (and notorious) free dating sites on the internet are Plenty of Fish and OK Cupid, which are both bare bones experience that offer a “quantity over quality” approach.
Unlike its premium competitors, the free sites rely less on more profound personal questions in building their user profiles, and more on superficial questions relating to users sex lives and physical preferences.
As such, these sites are more geared towards younger users and/or those looking for a casual fling.
One of the main negative facets of any free dating site is there is no vetting 
process undertaken by the sites staff. This means anyone can create a profile, regardless of whether or not they are genuine. As a result, on some of the more highly populated sites, you’ll find hundreds of “fake profiles” set up by websites attempting to draw you into their clutches. There will also be profiles setup by conmen and women, professional escorts (yes really) and even pornographic sites who will respond to any messages sent with spam or even potentially damaging viral software.
To play devil’s advocate for a moment though, I will admit free sites are generally more popular amongst those who are not looking for anything serious, and just wish to dip their toes back in the dating pool.
If you’ve been “off the market” for a while and want to ease yourself back into it, a free-to-use site may be the way to go.
Pay Online Dating Sites
As the old saying says, “you get what you pay for.” A pay site will generally charge a monthly or yearly subscription fee that will allow users access to their (in many cases) extensive databases and bespoke tools. The two most notable pay dating sites are undoubtedly Match.com and eHarmony, both of which have evolved from humble beginnings into global, multi-million dollar businesses, with Match boasting a staggering 21 million members worldwide.
What sets these sites apart from the “free-to-use” competition is not only the prestige factor, but the general quality of the clientele.
Let’s put it this way – if you’re serious about dating, you’re going to pay. If you’re on a site that requires an investment, all of the other people on that site will be just as serious about it as you are.
There are also more customization options, with eHarmony in particular boasting an incredibly in-depth, 400 question survey, which they will use to match you with your perfect partner. The major thing a pay site can offer though is peace of mind. You know you’ll be talking to an actual human being. You know your details are in good, reliable hands.
Freemium Online Dating Sites
Perhaps the most typical format for most modern dating sites, especially ones that relate specifically to certain niche groups such as uniformdating.com and www.over40datingsite.co.uk. The main positive with these sites is you get a chance to try them out before you take the plunge and enter your credit card details. Otherwise what you’re essentially looking at is a blend of the free and pay sites. Most appear to follow the same model (you can search profiles and send ‘winks’ for free, but have to pay a premium to send an actual message) and there are hundreds to choose from, each relating to a wide variety of specific niches and “kinks.”
Suggestions
Leave the free sites to the youngsters.
While there are obvious bonuses to free-to-use sites and sites such as Match and eHarmony might set you back a small fortune, the results speak for themselves.
The sites too are of a generally more ‘premium’ build and are far easier to navigate, which is a real boon for those who might not be 100% ‘computer literate’. The freemium sites meanwhile are definitely recommended for those with a more specific set of potential matches in mind. There are numerous websites geared towards over 40’s dating, but steer well clear of the completely free sites as they will undoubtedly be full of “trolls” and scam artists.
Hopefully, I’ve managed to temper your nerves a bit, as online dating really isn’t the horror show it might once have been. In fact, for 2014 an estimated one third of all single people will meet their future partners online. There’s never been a better time to ride the silicon highway into your romantic future!
Jake Compton is a dating guru from the UK who helped many people find companionship and happiness.
