The holiday season often presents unique challenges to stepparents. Along with trying to fit into the family and establishing one’s role as a parental figure, a stepparent must also adjust to the family’s holiday traditions, as well as the stress that comes with celebrating the holidays with children who may keenly miss the absent parent.
Rather than becoming distracted in the children’s longing for their other parent or resigning yourself to being the proverbial third wheel of the family, you can enjoy the holidays as the stepparent in the family by trying these suggestions and resolving to make the most of this special time of the year.
Stay Engaged
As a new stepparent, it can be tempting to stay out of the way and let your spouse and his or her children carry out their holiday traditions without you. You may be unfamiliar with their traditions or perhaps do not understand them.
However, as a parental figure in the household, you have a valuable role to play in your stepchildren’s lives and thus should make an effort to involve yourself with their traditions. If you make an effort, your stepchildren may appreciate your taking an interest in their activities and go out of their way to teach you about the family’s holiday traditions.
Start New Holiday Traditions
Along with joining in already established traditions, you can make yourself part of the family’s holiday activities by inaugurating new holiday traditions for your spouse and stepchildren. Embarking on a new holiday tradition like taking a short vacation, baking special treats, singing at church, or engaging in acts of kindness like volunteering at charities to help those in need can be great and new holiday traditions that may enjoy long success and acceptance in your new family.
Noomii.com Acts of Kindness calendar is a great way to choose things you can do to spread holiday cheer. If you add traditions of your own making into your family, you will solidify your role as a loving parental influence in the household.
Accept the Other Parent’s Influence and Value
It can be very tempting to negate the stepchildren’s other parent, particularly if your spouse and his or her ex-spouse no longer have a good relationship with each other. However, even if your spouse and the other parent do not get along, it is important you respect the other parent’s value and influence with your stepchildren. Your stepchildren may still want to visit and include this other person in the holiday season.
Rather than make this involvement a point of contention, you should try to extend goodwill and acceptance toward this other individual, at least for the few days of the holiday season. When your stepchildren see that you and the other parent can get along and share a parental bond with them, they may be more open to your place in the family and also feel more secure and happy during this special time of year.
The holidays can be a challenge for many stepparents. Instead of giving in to the stress and anxiety of the season, however, you can make the holidays brighter in your home by following these strategies.
Writer and mother of four, Melanie Fleury enjoys spending time teaching her children about compassion during the holiday season and throughout the year. Noomii.com Acts of Kindness Advent calendar is a great way to incorporate the meaning of the holidays into each day.
Melanie is a prolific contributor to Support for Stepdads. In a short time Melanie has written eleven articles. Please check out some of her other great posts: Stepparenting an Infant: How to Be Happily Involved , Domestic Violence Awareness Month: How You Can Help Break the Cycle, and The Biggest Cheerleader: Praising Your Stepkids Talents.
Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/shimelle/334292388/
