Quotes & Wisdom

Stepfather Quote & Wisdom ~ Led by Talent not Self-Destruction

 


 

“Be led by your talent, not by your self-loathing; those other things you just have to manage.”

~ Russell Brand

 

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Did you click on the above Google ad?  FYI – info domain sites are notorious for harboring all sorts of nasty viruses and malware. 

Of course not, you say.  Do I think your stupid? 

No, I don’t think you’re stupid but somebody in cyberspace is or worse they have a self-destructive tendency.  Back in 2007, this ad was posted by computer security expert, Didier Stevens, as a prank.  Clicking on the link didn’t result in a virus infecting your computer, but surprisingly over 400 people clicked on the ad. 

Why would anyone do that?  Why would anybody knowingly “infect” their PC with a virus?  While we may all agree it makes no sense, I believe we’ve all been guilty of behaviors that don’t make any sense. 

Types of Self-Destructive Behavior

  • Avoiding responsibility
  • Compulsive or addictive behaviors
    • Alcohol or Drugs Of Any Kind
    • Eating
    • Exercise
    • Gambling
    • Self Harm or Self Mutilation
    • Sex
    • Shopping
    • Shoplifting
    • Work
  • Excessive need for recognition or approval
  • Excessive self sacrifice
  • Having abusive relationships
  • Hiding true feelings
  • Letting others run over you or take advantage of you
  • Not allowing others to help
  • Not taking care of your health
  • Rejecting others to avoid being rejected
  • Self-pity
  • Setting your self up to fail

Four Causes of Self-Destructive Behavior

  • Adopted childhood behavior of how to adjust to unreasonable family demands. 
    • Referred to as “survival programs”; it generally feels critical for the child to do all that’s possible to form a secure bond with your parents.
    • Behavior is useful as a child but less useful as the child grows older.
  • Self-destructive behaviors can come from any traumatic experience.  An experience that’s a grave threat to your survival. 
    • For example, a veteran with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder might dive for cover whenever he or she hears a loud noise.
  • Substances, relationships, or activities that in the past have reduced stress or anxiety levels.
    • Most addictions like heavy drinking, gambling, shopping, or sex serve this purpose.
      • While indulging your habit you could get caught up in behavior that, while in the moment it alleviates stress, also makes it impossible for you to achieve what it is you really want.
  • Certain personality traits that if not overcome or at least minimized can promote self-destruction.
    • If you were born shy you probably tried to avoid unfamiliar social situations. Unless you overcome this shyness you’ll end up fearful of all social situations.

    Self Destructive

Takeaways

Time heals all wounds. 

Have you heard that before?  It sounds nice, doesn’t it?  Wise. True.

Unfortunately, it isn’t true.  Not all wounds heal on their own.  Just as physical wounds sometimes get infected and need powerful antibiotics to be rid of infection, many of our spiritual and psychological wounds will not get better without help.  Left alone, they fester and produce bitterness, anger and depression.  These feelings will often lead us to self-destructive behavior.

Self-destructive behaviors keep us from being our best selves and reaching our full potential.  In this series, I’ll discuss the faulty beliefs that contribute to self-destructive behaviors and strategies to stop self-destructive behavior.  Engaging in self-destructive behaviors makes maintaining a positive self-esteem impossible which is important for leading a fulfilling, healthy life, which in turn helps you help others.  If you liked this post please rate it using the stars and thumbs below.  Thanks.


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