This post is a continuation of the initial post Tips for Stepfathers Raising Stepdaughters – #’s 1 & 2. Lilly Babineau is the contributing author.
Instant Love is Only in the Movies
Love and appreciation take time to grow in any relationship. It’s unrealistic to expect her to love you right away, if ever. The only thing you should expect instantly is respect as an adult and you’ll need her mother’s help to ensure that is set as the standard.
Try to find common ground with her. What are her interests? She may even like some of yours. However, no stepfather is immune to the standard “You’re not my father!” when you make an effort to help her mom ground her for something she has done wrong.
Take it in stride, because at some point or another, almost every child tells their parents they don’t like or hate them when this happens love her anyway.
Don’t Try to Buy Her Affection
Giving your stepdaughter money all the time, buying her elaborate gifts, giving her anything she wants won’t make her love you, and it definitely won’t make her respect you. She’ll begin to see you as nothing more than a Santa Claus she can get anything out of.
She’ll become spoiled and only fake appreciation, so you’ll continue to buy her stuff. The one thing you can give her that she will grow to love and respect you for is the same mutual appreciation and respect you want in return. Give her your full attention when she speaks to you, and give her helpful and kind advice when she asks for it.
One more tip after this one… Now, you have all the tips for stepfathers raising stepdaughters. Read more great tips on how to be a good stepdad in the Archive How to Be a Good Stepdad.
