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A Permissive Parent’s Regret

Destiny Hope Cyrus is an American actress and pop singer-songwriter. You probably know her by her nickname, Miley Ray Cyrus. Miley is smiley (she smiled a lot as a baby) abbreviated and she adopted the middle name Ray in honor of her grandfather, Ronald Ray Cyrus. 
 
Thanks to my son,  I’ve seen my fair share of episodes from her popular Disney television series “Hannah Montana.”  Her success in playing the lead character, good girl, Hanna Montana put Miley onto the fast track to stardom.   
 
Miley quickly became a marketer’s dream earning millions of dollars in TV, music, and feature films. In the midst of her launch to stardom, Miley has found herself caught up in controversy, from posing for risque photographs, a pole dance at the Teen Choice Awards, to smoking a bong and taking hallucinogenic drugs.  
    
Tish, Miley, & Billy Ray Cyrus

Billy Ray told GQ Magazine he now wishes his daughter never went to Hollywood and found fame and fortune. “The damn show destroyed my family,” he told the reporter. “I’d take it back in a second. For my family to be here and just everybody be okay, safe and sound and happy and normal would have been fantastic. 


Heck, yeah. I’d erase it all in a second if I could.” In October 2010, Billy Ray filed for divorce from Miley’s mom, Tish citing irreconcilable differences. Less than five months, later during an appearance on the View, Billy Ray announced he dropped the divorce to put his family back together. 

Billy Ray is regretting his actions (or lack thereof) as a father. Again, from the GQ interview:  “How many interviews did I give and say, ‘You know what’s important between me and Miley is I try to be a friend to my kids?’  I said it a lot. 

And sometimes I would even read other parents might say, “You don’t need to be a friend, you need to be a parent.”

Well, I’m the first guy to say to them right now: You were right. I should have been a better parent.  I should have said, ‘Enough is enough–it’s getting dangerous and somebody’s going to get hurt.’  I should have, but I didn’t.  Honestly, I didn’t know the ball was out of bounds until it was way up in the stands somewhere.”

Now granted, very few of us are or will be faced with the major challenge of parenting a teen idol, but there are some common threads: 

Pushing the Envelope

Kid’s Nature.  Our kids will inevitably push the envelope and see how far they can go.  It’s normal and natural for them to do it.  Subconsciously, many of us are wondering just how far we’ll allow them to go – if it doesn’t feel right it’s time to pull in the reins.  Despite what they might say or how they might act, they desperately want your leadership.

Your Kids Don’t Need Your Friendship

Parent’s Nature.  It’s common for a mom or dad to be liked by our kids.  But here’s the million dollar question:  Do you want to be their best bud or their parent who frequently has to remain firm and say “no” when they desperately want us to “yes”?

Your kids have and will have plenty of friends but only a select few can be their parents.  Be the parents your children need today. If you would like to learn more about how not to be a permissive parent and become your child’s parent again, please get John Rosemond’s book, “New Parent Power!”.

P.S.  Miley is part of a blended family.  Tish, Miley’s mom, had two children from a previous relationship: Trace and Brandi who Billy Ray adopted when they were young.  Miley has a half-brother, Christopher Cody, Billy Ray’s son from a brief relationship, born the same year as Miley; he grew up with his mother in South Carolina. Tish and Billy Ray had two more children, Braison and Noah.

The Cyrus Blended Family
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2 Comments

  1. Good info, sweetie! Keep it up! By the way, I suggest you should make this site a little more social.

    Alice Johnson

    1. Thank you Alice for your feedback and encouragement. I am planning on upgrading the site in the near future to include social media content. Have you considered participating in the Forum?

      Gerardo

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