A Permissive Parent’s Regret

Billy Ray told GQ Magazine he now wishes his daughter never went to Hollywood and found fame and fortune. “The damn show destroyed my family,” he told the reporter. “I’d take it back in a second. For my family to be here and just everybody be okay, safe and sound and happy and normal would have been fantastic. 

Heck, yeah. I’d erase it all in a second if I could.” In October 2010, Billy Ray filed for divorce from Miley’s mom, Tish citing irreconcilable differences. Less than five months, later during an appearance on the View, Billy Ray announced he dropped the divorce to put his family back together. 

Billy Ray is regretting his actions (or lack thereof) as a father. Again, from the GQ interview:  “How many interviews did I give and say, ‘You know what’s important between me and Miley is I try to be a friend to my kids?’  I said it a lot. 

Well, I’m the first guy to say to them right now: You were right. I should have been a better parent.  I should have said, ‘Enough is enough–it’s getting dangerous and somebody’s going to get hurt.’  I should have, but I didn’t.  Honestly, I didn’t know the ball was out of bounds until it was way up in the stands somewhere.”

Now granted, very few of us are or will be faced with the major challenge of parenting a teen idol, but there are some common threads: 

Kid’s Nature.  Our kids will inevitably push the envelope and see how far they can go.  It’s normal and natural for them to do it.  Subconsciously, many of us are wondering just how far we’ll allow them to go – if it doesn’t feel right it’s time to pull in the reins.  Despite what they might say or how they might act, they desperately want your leadership.

Parent’s Nature.  It’s common for a mom or dad to be liked by our kids.  But here’s the million dollar question:  Do you want to be their best bud or their parent who frequently has to remain firm and say “no” when they desperately want us to “yes”?

Your kids have and will have plenty of friends but only a select few can be their parents.  Be the parents your children need today. If you would like to learn more about how not to be a permissive parent and become your child’s parent again, please get John Rosemond’s book, “New Parent Power!”.

P.S.  Miley is part of a blended family.  Tish, Miley’s mom, had two children from a previous relationship: Trace and Brandi who Billy Ray adopted when they were young.  Miley has a half-brother, Christopher Cody, Billy Ray’s son from a brief relationship, born the same year as Miley; he grew up with his mother in South Carolina. Tish and Billy Ray had two more children, Braison and Noah.