As our children are maturing, so are we their parents. Being a father is an honor.
I frequently think of how I can be my best self for my children.
Consider some of the traits I believe would make our children the very best they can be:
Responsibility
Instilling responsibility in your kids can be a difficult task when you have an ex that doesn’t share the same desire to teach the same value. Co-parenting with someone having different values can create tensions within the child as well as between the ex’s.
Meet with your ex to hear her desires and share your hopes for your kids. Make mental notes of areas of similarity and areas that are not so similar.
Ask your ex how she envisions her child as an adult. Does your ex see them as responsible, accountable, dependable, etc.?
Asking your ex to see their child as an adult helps them to see if they feel their child is headed in the right direction or a midcourse correction needs to be made. Use this as an opportunity to set common obtainable goals and expectations for your child to meet.
For example, because you’ve trusted them with the family car, you set a reasonable curfew to make sure they’re acting responsibly.
Pursue different ways in which your child understand they’re responsible. For example, assign your child with weekly chores they are responsible.
Inspect the chores for completion and quality to keep your child responsible. If they are included in taking pride in their home and themselves, they’re far more likely to uphold their responsibilities.
Accountability
Accountability is another habit we should instill in our children. Holding our children accountable for their actions will assist them in distinguishing between what is right and wrong.
We want what is best for our children and holding them accountable for their actions is something that will carry them through life. To hold our children accountable, it’s important to discuss reasons why they are receiving consequences for their actions or lack there of.
For example, a teen that lies about where they’re going so they can go to a party and engage in drinking with friends from school. If we don’t hold them accountable for this type of behavior the long term result could be dangerous.
According to Kraft Law & Associates, their piece Frunk Driving vs. Drugged Driving states drinking and the use of illicit drugs are still an issue among young adults. It’s our duty to talk to our children about their responsibility to stay drug-free and hold them accountable to stay that way.
Make the time to get involved in your child’s life and get to know their friends and their parents. This can help create a network of people looking out for the best interest of their children and yours.
Dependability
It’s important to teach our children the importance of being dependable. As they continue to mature, they will understand someone who is dependable can be relied upon, their word is their bond, and are trusted and taken at their word.
An excellent way to coach your child to become a reliable person is to seek opportunities in which they can display acts of dependability.
Keep watch of the chores that you’ve set, praise them for their hard work in school and extracurricular activities. If they aren’t involved, seek out their interests and encourage them to devote their time to something they enjoy.
Being a part of a community can help a child understand where others depend on them.
As parents, we should strive to hold ourselves accountable for our responsibilities and let our kids know we are parents they can depend on.
Parenting can be difficult at times, but showing them how to uphold what we want them to begin with us.
Matt R. You really gave some thought and research to this. Like how you brought out about how to teach children to be dependable. And the commendation is very, very important. Dad’s are important too. 🙂
Thanks James for your feedback. I’ll be sure to pass on to Matt one of my frequent contributors.
Gerardo