This post is a continuation of the series: A Woman’s Greatest Need. The first post, A Woman’s Greatest Need, identified the four things a man must communicate to his wife to satisfy her need to feel loved:
- He Cares for His Wife Above Anyone or Anything Except God,
- His Admiration and Love for His Wife,
- Communicate His Faithfulness, and
- Communicate His Dedication to Provide Financially.
A Man Must Communicate His Admiration and Love For His Wife
The Pretty Lady
I endearingly refer to my wife, Roberta, as the Pretty Lady. From the very first time I sat across from her in 1994, and today after over 19 years of marriage she still turns my head. Despite her beauty, I remember how surprised I was when she expressed doubts about her looks. Early in our marriage, Roberta emphasized how she needed to hear me regularly say she was beautiful and I loved her. Why I thought? We’re married now why does she need to hear it all the time.
Like a delicate flower, a woman flourishes in an environment of praise and adoration. She withers and dies in the presence of silence or criticism. At times, men at time must express words of correction or unhappiness to their wife.
At times, a man must correct or express his dissatisfaction to his wife. The words must come from a place the woman knows is safe and supportive. When you honor your wife and genuinely express your love for her, you’ve earned the right to correct her. If all you do is criticize her, your wife will become insecure and bitter.
Your Wife = Her Husband’s Reflection
Every wife is the reflection of her husband. Women show in their faces, attitudes and appearances how they feel about their husbands and their marriages.
When a man creates an atmosphere of praise and respect for his wife, it makes a noticeable difference in everything she does. She radiates and reflects love and respect from every area of her life.
When a man constantly criticizes his wife or makes her dig for shallow compliments, she will show her insecurity. Women naturally gravitate to people and places where they will receive compliments about themselves.
Men do, also. For a woman to have to go outside her home to receive praise is an indictment on her husband. What can sometimes follows next is even more serious.
Affair Insurance
Sometimes it’s the husband and sometimes it’s the wife.
A man’s usually motivated to have an affair for sex. It isn’t sex for a woman, it’s what they hear. Women have affairs because they meet a man who will talk to them and make them feel special.
Women are turned on by men who compliment them and make them feel good about themselves. The best insurance a husband can possibly have that his wife will never have an affair is an atmosphere of praise and encouragement he creates in which she can live. If he will do this, his wife will be drawn to him, and she will not be hungry for love when someone else comes along offering compliments and affection.
If he does not, although she may not participate in an affair, her hunger for love will cause her to struggle with unnecessary temptations and fantasies.
Simple Tips
Here are some simple tips for men communicating admiration and love for your wife:
- Be Sincere
- Tell your wife good things. Really mean them when you say it and say them often.
- Tell your wife good things. Really mean them when you say it and say them often.
- Say Something Positive About Every Area of Her Life
- Affirm her appearance often. Also compliment her mind, character, motherhood, cooking, etc. Let her know you’re totally proud of her.
- Affirm her appearance often. Also compliment her mind, character, motherhood, cooking, etc. Let her know you’re totally proud of her.
- Build a Large Balance of Praises
- Praise her daily. Send texts, cards, flowers, love letters, anything that will communicate your love and respect.
- Give her at least five praises for every one thing you correct or confront.
- Listen
- When your wife is speaking look into her eyes and really listen to what she has to say. Turn off or turn down the TV, radio or anything else that is distracting so you can give your wife your full attention.
- Communicate
- Be open and transparent letting her know what you’re thinking or feeling. Verbally express your love for her often.
- Actively Seek Her Advice and Opinion
- Value her input and give it a preferential place in your decision-making process.
- Make Couple Time a Priority
- Go on a date just the two of you at least once a week.
- Go on a date just the two of you at least once a week.
- Value Her Individuality
- Like a Stradivarius your wife is of immense value and uniqueness. Don’t compare her to your mom, your old girlfriend or ex-wife. Your mom may be the world’s best cook but your wife never needs to know that.
- She’s Your Partner Not Your Maid
- Clean and pick up after yourself. Sharing in the family and household responsibilities is not helping your wife it’s doing what you should be doing as your wife’s equal partner. If you need a maid hire one.
- She’s Your Wife Not Your Buddy
- Burping and farting may have been cool with your college buddies but your wife is probably not amused. Remember to practice good hygiene while your at it and putting the toilet seat down wouldn’t hurt as well.
- Burping and farting may have been cool with your college buddies but your wife is probably not amused. Remember to practice good hygiene while your at it and putting the toilet seat down wouldn’t hurt as well.
- Pray For Her and With Her
- Praying on your wife’s behalf involves God’s help and puts her needs at the forefront of your heart and mind.
- Studies show couples who regularly pray together experience an 1% divorce rate compared to the higher rate of 50%+.
- She’s Always Your First Choice
- There will be times when you will be forced to choose between your wife and something else you like. Always, always choose her first.
- Be Careful with Female Friendships
- Be careful with your relationships with the opposite sex. Affairs are not just physical. Honoring your marriage vows means remaining faithful in thought and word as well as in deed.
- Give Her Time to Herself
- Just like you, your wife needs an occasional break to rest and recharge. Allow your wife to Everyone needs an occasional break to rest and recharge, and this is especially important for a wife who is at home all day with young children. Yet it’s very easy to neglect this legitimate need unless you regularly and intentionally schedule time for it.
- Brag About Her
- Brag about her good qualities and the wonderful things she does. Her reputation is your reputation.
- Protect and Care for Her Children
- Your wife’s children are a living extension of her. Your investment of energy and time in her children you are investing in your wife as well. This especially applies as a stepfather. Kindness to your children counts as kindness to her.
The above list is by no means comprehensive. Use this list as the basis for you to make a custom list for your wife.
