Being a good stepdad might not be the hardest thing in the world, but it’s not the easiest either. You’re becoming a part of a new family and assuming a role you have never performed before.
You also need to establish yourself as an authority figure to your new stepchildren. Since this position requires quite a lot of dedication and patience, here are five tips to help you become not just a better stepdad, but an amazing one.
Establish Open Communication
The biggest problem in these situations is stepfathers and stepchildren usually don’t talk about their feelings and aren’t sure how to get over the fact they’re now living together. The kids might feel they’re stuck with a new father figure, and the dads could feel left out because they’re not biological fathers.
That’s why establishing open communication is the key. Yes, you’re all feeling weird, but at least try to talk about it and let everyone else understand how you feel.
Building a healthy relationship with your stepchildren isn’t easy, and it takes quite a lot of time. However, truly it’s the only way to become a happy family.
Be Cautious with their Personal Space
Children value their personal space more than adults. When a new person moves in their home, some of them tend to react unusually.
They might lock themselves in their room and limit their communication to you and their mother. That’s something you don’t want.
So, be cautious with their space, respect their boundaries and don’t walk inside their room unless you’re invited.
These things might seem silly and petty at first, but it’s a process all stepfathers have to go through, so be patient.
Be Proactive
Different children love different activities. As stepdad, your job is to be proactive and get them to do things they’ve never done before.
Whether it’s a trip abroad or a simple visit to a local zoo, you need to show them you have their best interests at heart and just want to hang out with them. You can also think outside the box and suggest something unusual such as a road trip or a cruise.
All you need to do is get organized, explore affordable cruise deals, and find a destination you know your stepchildren will love. It’s all about spending time together and showing them love and affection.
Gain their Trust
This might be the hardest thing ever because stepchildren aren’t the most trusting kids you’ll ever meet, but it’s still something you need to do. They might have some trust issues, depending on the situation with their parents.
Of course, children of divorced parents react differently than those whose father passed away, for instance – so you need to be careful. Try to gain their trust by confiding in them, letting them know it’s perfectly fine if they do the same, sharing your thoughts and ideas, and encouraging them to talk to you whenever they want to.
Encourage Relationship with their Biological Father
Unfortunately, most stepfathers don’t consider this idea, thinking it’s better to keep their new stepchildren away from their biological father. However, unless he’s a violent man or a bad father, there’s no reason to do that.
Your stepkids shouldn’t forget about their dad completely, and it’s usually up to you to help them stay in touch. This is important for the children on more levels than one, so don’t be afraid to encourage them to do so. They’ll appreciate you even more because of that.
Being a good stepdad isn’t all fun and games. It’s a lot of hard work, and you need to always keep finding new ways to earn your stepchildren’s trust.
Try to spend as much time with them as possible, help them with their schoolwork and take part in their hobbies. This will also confirm to your new wife she’s made the right choice and you deserve to be a part of her life as well.
Simple acts of kindness and affection can make your stepchild feel important and valuable. Read more on other ways you can show love and care as a Stepfather.
