Many dads will tell you fatherhood is one of the greatest joys in life. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services suggests that kids with fathers who are involved and present are more likely to succeed in school and have fewer behavioral issues. However, it doesn’t matter if you’re a father of one or a father of ten, living as a single dad has its own unique joys and challenges as well.
You are your daughter’s entire world and support system, which can often add a few extra pressures in your day-to-day life as you walk her through puberty, her social activities, and her emotional maturity.
As a single dad, consider these four tips to connect with your daughter and build a relationship filled with love and trust.
Lend a Listening Ear
As your daughter gets older and enters her pre-teen years, she’ll likely have a lot of complex emotions that are new territory for both of you. While you used to be able to fix everything with a kiss and a bandage, you’ll have to learn to navigate these issues differently as she grows into a young woman.
As much as you can, embrace her circumstances and try not to jump in with solutions right away. This will be difficult for a dad who doesn’t want to see his daughter upset, but sometimes, she just needs to know you’ll be there to sit beside her while she works through her emotions. Assure her she isn’t alone and validate her feelings whenever you can.
This will build your connection because she will see that she is seen, heard, and understood. It will also help your daughter understand that emotions like hers are normal to experience, and there is value in learning how to cope as she navigates her circumstances.
Whether she’s dealing with bullies, a painful break-up, or her self-esteem, try to offer her emotional support before offering a way to fix it.
Be Present
Being a single dad means you’re also the sole provider for your family, so it’s tough to find time to get away from work and be present. As much as possible, be fully accessible and attend your daughter’s school functions, dance recitals, basketball games, music recitals and parent-teacher conferences without distractions.
Being involved means you’ll be able to dedicate undivided attention to her life and activities. It will also give you plenty of ways on how to connect with your daughter in conversations.
Parents also want to be aware of their kids’ choices, social circles, and influences. While you don’t have to use this as a way to create strict rules or hover too closely, staying in touch with her interests and her schedule can give you a chance to learn more about these crucial elements of her life.
Be Proactive and Learn All You Can
As a single dad, you’re learning a lot on your own. Whenever you can, educate yourself on all things, parenting and daughters. You can find books, websites, podcasts, videos, and even support groups to help you learn how to connect with your child.
You can find parenting advice, tips on being a father of girls, communities to confide in, or information on your daughter’s personal interests. Showing her you’re invested in her will help you connect with your daughter and strengthen your relationship
Ask Others for Support
Finally, be sure to ask for help when you need a little extra support. When you need information on identifying common illnesses, or how to host a slumber party for her and her friends, don’t be afraid to consult your daughter’s pediatrician or a family member with children.
Also, there may be a few girl-centric topics she’d feel more comfortable talking about with another female role model. Things such as puberty, birth control, the best tampons for beginners, or how to handle her first crush.
Sometimes, it’s stressful or embarrassing to share those conversations with you as a single parent, so allowing her to connect with others about these topics could actually help strengthen your relationship.
Know that connecting her with a mentor or a doctor does not mean you are less important to her, or you should stay hands-off. As her dad, you can play an important role in breaking stigmas surrounding men and these conversations.
Being a single dad to a daughter is both wonderful and intimidating. Daughters have a special bond with their father, which puts a great deal of responsibility on a father to set a good example for his little girl.
Just remember, no matter what, staying involved will help you connect with your daughter and form a loving relationship. Make sure your daughter knows every day that you love her and are her biggest cheerleader.
