Starting a new relationship already causes a bit of apprehension for most people. Yet, when you add to that the person you’re interested in was once married before, it takes the complexities to a whole new level.
Though you can successfully date and marry a divorced woman, getting to that point takes special care and attention. This is especially true if there are children involved. If you’ve found yourself in such a situation, here are five things you need to know about dating a divorced woman.
She will have Baggage
Divorce is a sad experience for anyone despite the reason for the breakup. Something you thought would last a lifetime ended, despite your best efforts to make it work. When there are children involved there’s also the dissolution of a family as they once knew it which is especially trying.
Whether she’s been divorced a year or five years, you have to understand there’s definitely going to be some emotional baggage. You must be willing to accept this and allow her to get through it.
Providing her with the support she needs along the way will be helpful.
Her Guard will be Up
After a divorce, your feelings of trust and sense of stability are shattered. No one wants to give all of themselves to a person only for it to fall apart in the end.
It can be hard to do a second or third time around. So, her guard is going to be up. You have to do your best to reassure her your intentions are good.
She Comes With an Ex-Husband
Your girl comes with more than just emotional baggage, she also comes with an ex. While their relationship may be over, if she has children, they may still need to interact with one another.
It’s imperative you allow her the freedom to handle her ex-husband on her own terms and not try to intervene. That is, of course, unless her ex-husband was abusive or has been in and out of drug detox programs for substance abuse, then she may need your assistance.
Otherwise, be a listening ear when she needs you to be, and support her by being the best boyfriend you can.
Be Prepared for the Kids
When dating a divorced woman with kids it’s important to tread lightly. The children are still grieving from the divorce and may see any other man entering their life as a threat. Gently ease your way into their lives in a manner that makes them, their mother, and their biological father pleased.
Do something fun like playing games with them, take them to the park, or take the entire family out for ice cream. Understand you may also have ups and downs as their emotions change. There may be days where you get along and all is well and days where they clearly wish you weren’t around.
This too shall pass. Give the kids as much time and space they need to accept your being in their lives. Once you’ve put in the time, done the work, and shown your efforts, the bond you guys will have will be unlike anything you ever thought you’d experience.
Be the Best Version of You
Outside of showering her with love, being a good listener, and understanding her circumstances, you must also be the best version of yourself. Do not enter a relationship with a woman who recently suffered a broken heart and is learning how to put the pieces to her life and her children’s lives back together when you have your own issues.
She needs someone mentally and physically stable she can rely on to build and grow with. This certainly doesn’t mean you have to be perfect, but every day you’re in her life, be the best you can be to make the entire process smoother.
Finally, these are important things to know about dating a divorced woman. If she has children, it won’t be an easy task either. However, with patience and communication, you’ll get through the trials and tribulations and find it to be the most rewarding relationship you’ve ever had.
Finding ways to help your stepkids feel welcome and safe in a new environment can be challenging, but is extremely important to the well-being of the child and the peace and happiness of the family unit.
