Conflict in families is like a stain on a white shirt—it will inevitably happen. Still, with proper care, you can dissolve it! Whatever the conflict, disagreement, or argument you’re facing with your loved ones, you can always make compromises as a family.
A true compromise will leave all parties feeling content with the solution, but it’s an art form that needs to be learned and practiced. Here are some tips on how you can work through a tough argument, and make compromises as a family. Whether that’s with your teenager who wants a later curfew or with your 7-year-old who refuses to pick up after themselves.
Step 1
Allow everyone involved to present their situation or opinion. Don’t interrupt each other, and do your best to really listen. This will be the foundation of your compromise.
Step 2
Once everyone has made their case, allow for open-ended questions. These will help everyone involved get a better understanding of what’s going on. You could ask your teenager why they believe they’re old enough to stay up past 10 pm or find out why your 7-year-old believes that having all their toys on the ground at all times is the best way to play.
Step 3
Discuss negotiables and non-negotiables. One of your non-negotiables could be that toys do not belong in the parent’s bedroom. At the same time, you could be open to negotiating a messier playroom on the weekends. At the end of the day, it’s about taking a step toward the other person and finding a solution that works for everyone.
Step 4
Find common ground. Knowing your negotiables and non-negotiables may help you realize you’re not as far away from a solution as you thought you were. Share your standpoints again and see if you can come to a compromise at this point.
Step 5
If you’re still not able to agree on a solution, come up with new ideas! You can brainstorm alternatives together or take time to find new ways to handle a situation that hasn’t been discussed before. This outside-of-the-box thinking can lift some negative energy off your shoulders and show your child that you’re taking the issue seriously.
Step 6
If all else fails, you can always negotiate a trade! Maybe you can allow your teenager to stay out past 10 pm on Fridays and Saturdays under the premise that they’ve completed their homework and chores.
Compromises teach your children a lot about finding creative solutions to complex problems, communicating clearly what they want, and arguing for what they believe in. It won’t always be easy, but it will help you raise kids who stand up for themselves respectfully and responsibly.
If you’re getting along great as a family but have unresolved disputes with your partner, download the compromising worksheets below to work through your arguments.
