Pop Quiz Time
You’ve asked – maybe even begged – someone three times to help with dinner, walk the dog, or look up for a minute. No movement. No response. Then someone in the family finally loses their cool and shouts:
“You’re always on that dang phone!“
So, who’s getting yelled at?
A. Your 14-year-old stepson
B. Your 11-year-old daughter
C. Your beloved wife
D. You
The correct answer? Trick question: it’s most likely E, all of the above! While it’s true that Gen Z spends the most time on their phones – about 6 hours a day – we’ve all been guilty of spending more time with technology than having face-to-face interactions. Even Baby Boomers, a supposedly tech-averse generation, get plenty of screen time.
While they use their phones less, they watch more TV than any other generation and spend almost five hours daily in front of the television! Screen time is a normal part of life for virtually everyone in the USA. It’s unavoidable – it’s how we work, how we learn, and how we play.
We often point fingers at Gen Z – and yes, they average six hours a day on their phones – but truth be told, we’re all plugged in. Even Baby Boomers, supposed to be tech-averse, average nearly five hours daily in front of the TV. In today’s world, screens are everywhere: they help us work, relax, and connect. But sometimes, they distract us from the people right before us.
When Screen Time Starts to Take Over
Technology isn’t the enemy – how we use it matters. A few peaceful minutes on a screen can snowball into hours of mindless scrolling or gaming. And that time doesn’t just disappear – it costs us real-life connections with our family.
If you’re a stepdad wrestling with how to guide your kids in today’s digital world, you’re not alone. We’ve all handed over a phone or tablet to calm a meltdown or buy ourselves five minutes of peace. But over time, we want to teach our kids how to build healthy habits—not rely on tech to soothe or entertain.
Teamwork Makes the Screen Time Dream Work
One of the biggest roadblocks in managing tech is when parents don’t see eye to eye. Maybe your wife has a strict one-hour-a-day rule, but you think being more flexible is okay. That difference in approach? Kids pick up on it fast – and use it to their advantage.
Before laying down rules, sit down with your spouse and discuss them. Decide together what makes sense for your household:
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Will there be “no-phone” zones?
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Are certain apps or games off-limits?
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What happens if the rules are broken?
When kids see you’re united, they understand that these boundaries aren’t just coming from one parent—they’re family guidelines.
Set Boundaries That Build Connection
Setting limits isn’t about control but creating space for connection. A few simple boundaries can make a huge difference:
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No phones at the dinner table
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Tech-free time before bed
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Phones “sleep” in the family room overnight
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Use an alarm clock instead of phones in bed
These guidelines encourage kids to step away from screens and engage with family, hobbies, or quiet. Even better, they create time for conversation and activities that matter more than another episode or game level.
Model the Behavior You Want to See
Let’s be honest: if we’re glued to our screens, we can’t expect our kids to be different.
Children are observant. They’ll learn those habits if we prioritize eye contact, conversation, and unplugged time. But if we’re constantly distracted by notifications or endlessly scrolling, they’ll mirror that.
Make time for screen-free moments:
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Cook dinner as a family
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Go for evening walks
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Break out a board game
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Ask real, open-ended questions
You’re not just managing screen time—you’re shaping character.
Don’t Just Warn—Get Curious
It’s easy to focus on tech’s dangers—online predators, scams, or bullying. But if we only sound the alarm, we miss the chance to connect.
Instead of just policing screen use, show interest in your kids’ actions. Watch a few minutes of their favorite YouTuber. Learn about their games. Let them teach you something.
That curiosity builds trust. And when your kids trust you, they’re more likely to come to you when something’s wrong.
Helping Your Kids Build a Healthy Relationship with Tech
Our goal isn’t to ban screens – it’s to teach balance.
We want our kids to see technology as a tool, not a replacement for real life. That starts with:
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Consistent limits
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Active engagement
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Honest conversation
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And leading by example
When we teach kids how to be present, unplugged, and grounded, we’re not just helping them—we’re blessing the entire family dynamic.
Final Thoughts
This post is part of our series, The Stepdad’s Toolbox: Practical Parenting Strategies for Everyday Life. If this helped you, be sure to check out:
Have a favorite Bible verse or family tech tip that’s helped you? Drop it in the comments—we’d love to learn from your experience. Together, we’re building stronger families, one step at a time.
