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Recognizing Red Flags: How To Identify Unsafe Individuals

Guarding Your Well-Being: Unveiling The Signs Of Unsafe Individuals

Have you ever gotten a weird feeling from someone? You can’t quite put your finger on it, but something about them seems off or wrong. Your excellent manners tell you not to judge, but the little voice in your head is screaming about them. If that feeling is familiar, you might have found someone unsafe. 


Today, we will discuss something significant: recognizing safe and unsafe people. Some people display red flags – they can’t hide what they are. However, other people are better at hiding them. They weasel their way into your life, and before you know it, they’re taking advantage of your kindness and goodwill.

Sign stating warning red flags

It’s not good to be paranoid about other people. We want to trust them and believe they are safe. After all, safe people play an essential role in our lives. Safe relationships are supportive, understanding, and respectful. But not everyone we meet possesses these qualities. Understanding the signs of an unsafe person is essential for protecting our emotional and physical well-being and establishing healthy boundaries.

Defining a Safe Person

 

Before discussing what makes a person unsafe, let’s think about what makes people safe.

Safe people demonstrate trustworthiness, respect, empathy, and non-judgment. They create an environment where we feel secure, understood, and valued. A safe person is supportive. When you’re feeling down, they help bring you back up. When you’re riding high, they keep you grounded and grateful.

Safe people don’t try to exploit you or manipulate your boundaries to get what they want. Significantly, a secure person can help you spot an unsafe person. If one of your longtime friends points out that someone new in your life is manipulative or trying to isolate you, they aren’t acting out of jealousy; they’re trying to protect you.

But you can’t always rely on your friends; you must know how to spot the hidden red flags that unsafe people conceal until it’s too late.

Signs of an Unsafe Person

Sometimes, a person you think is safe… is not. These people sweep in when you’re at your lowest or worm their way in when things are going well. They don’t care about you – they care about what they can get from you. To an unsafe person, you are, at best, a pawn and, at worst, a plaything. Let’s review some of the most significant traits of an unsafe person that often reveal themselves over time.

Recognizing Red Flags - Unsafe person

Lack of Empathy

Unsafe individuals often struggle to understand or share another’s feelings. They may dismiss or invalidate our emotions, leaving us unheard and unseen. While empathy is hard for some people, a safe person will at least try to understand how you are feeling – and if they don’t understand, a secure person will still validate how you feel.

Manipulative Behavior

Manipulation is a hallmark of unsafe individuals. They may employ gaslighting tactics or use guilt and coercion to control others, eroding our sense of self-worth and autonomy. One favorite manipulation tactic is isolation.

Unsafe people want to be the only person in your life, the center of all your attention.

That way, nobody else can see what they’re doing to you. If they’re jealous of your other relationships, it’s a major red flag.

Boundary Violations

This is a big one.

Unsafe individuals disregard personal space or privacy, ignoring or crossing established boundaries without consideration for our comfort or consent.

They often get mad at the concept of boundaries, claiming you’re putting up walls and driving them away.

But that’s not what boundaries are for. Boundaries help people know the best way to interact with you. If somebody’s getting mad that you have boundaries, it’s a surefire sign that they don’t care about your needs.

Inconsistency

Unpredictable behavior or mood swings are common traits of unsafe individuals. Their actions may contradict their words, leaving us feeling confused and unsettled.

While they are okay with their inconsiderate behavior, they have incredibly high expectations for your behavior.

Any perceived disappointment will cause them to blow up at you in anger.

Lack of Accountability

Unsafe individuals often deflect blame onto others for their own mistakes or actions.

They may refuse to apologize or take responsibility, further damaging trust and respect in the relationship.

Nothing is ever their fault, and they may even accuse you of their mistakes or misdeeds. The lack of accountability is a critical factor in many manipulation techniques.

Trusting Your Gut: Spotting Unsafe Individuals

Our intuition often serves as an invaluable guide in identifying unsafe individuals. Paying attention to feelings of discomfort or unease and validating our emotions and intuition can help us recognize red flags before they escalate. One way to do this is to seek support and validation from other friends.

Contrary to popular belief, men deserve to be vulnerable, too! We shouldn’t be afraid to discuss our concerns. Sometimes, the best people are friends and family, but in some situations, the unsafe person is too close to your social sphere. That’s where mental health professionals come in. They can provide a valuable outside perspective and help you get clarity. Support groups and online communities can offer valuable insights and advice in navigating challenging relationships.

Establishing and Maintaining Boundaries

So, how do you deal with an unsafe person? In some situations, you can end the relationship -but what if the unsafe person is a family member or someone you can’t or don’t want to cut off? In this case, your boundaries will save you if you stick to them and enforce them. 

Clear communication of personal boundaries is essential in interactions with unsafe individuals. Enforcing boundaries with assertiveness and consistency and adjusting them as needed in response to red flags helps protect our well-being and autonomy. Remember: “No” is a complete sentence.

Surround Yourself With Safety

You deserve to live a life surrounded by good, safe people. That includes your friends, your family, and your spouse. You don’t have to live with someone who destroys your well-being. Knowing how to spot these red flags allows you to prioritize your well-being and establish healthy boundaries in relationships. Your safety and happiness are worth prioritizing, and you deserve relationships built on trust, respect, and mutual understanding.

How do you handle your relationships with unsafe family members? Please leave your answer in the Comments.

About the author

About the author

In 1995, Gerardo Campbell married his now ex-wife, becoming the stepdad to her two children. He started Support for Stepfathers in 2011 to reverse the nearly 70% divorce rate for blended families in the US. His website is to help and inspire stepfathers, aspiring stepfathers, and the women who love them worldwide. You can follow Support for Stepdads on Twitter and Facebook.

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