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The Ultimate Guide To Hosting An Au Pair – Everything You Need To Know

Your au pair will need to know your family rules and expectations for behavior. Discuss how you would like her to answer the phone, use the home computer, and during on-duty hours. Be firm on important issues.

Know the Culture


Au pairs are more than just an extra set of hands for your family. They are an integral part of your household and bring a unique cultural exchange experience with them. Au pairs from around the world infuse their culture into the children they care for and the home. They do this through their cooking, traditions, and words (or even an entire language!).

Hosting an au pair can feel like dating – you have your “non-negotiables” and the au pair’s “non-negotiables.” If something is important to you, such as no physical contact, communicate this during your video chat before she arrives. It is also an excellent idea to over-communicate with your au pair to ensure everything is clear.

It is easy for her to interpret certain words or actions differently from how you would, so it is essential to ask questions and discuss things.

Know the Rules

The au pair is your temporary family member, so treat her like one! That includes giving her a warm welcome, inviting her to join in family meals and outings, and providing her room with privacy.

It’s also essential to be reliable with her, so ensure you are always on time when picking her up, bringing her home from school or activities, and putting the kids to bed. Being unreliable will cause her to lose your trust, making her experience less enjoyable.

If there are household rules that your family has, make sure to explain them to the au pair before she arrives clearly. This will ensure everything is understood.

Know the Language

A common concern for families looking to host an au pair is whether or not they will be able to communicate effectively. Fortunately, there are some simple things you can do to help make it easier for your au pair to understand you.

For example, many host families find that their children will pick up a little of the language their au pair speaks. It’s an excellent way for kids to experience a new culture and learn about another part of the world.

Also, host parents must include their au pair in family meals, outings, and holidays. This will allow the children to interact with her in a different language and learn about new foods, music, and holiday traditions.

Know the Schedule

The granular details of welcoming an au pair to your home and life can sometimes get overlooked. This can include what kind of TV she can watch, whether or not you want her to use your laptop, when she can take phone calls, etc.

Being on the same page about these little things can help avoid misunderstandings later. Some of these items can even be covered in the household guide that host families complete and send to their local representative before their au pair arrives.

Once reviewed and approved, you are one step closer to welcoming your au pair to your home! Another critical point is how often you must communicate with your au pair. The best way to do this is through video calls on chat apps like WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, or Skype.

Know the Schedule of the Children

Host families often create a weekly schedule to help the au pair learn their family’s daily routine. They may also mark on a calendar where they will need to have the au pair with them or where they can play independently so they know which activities require a grown-up and which don’t.

Au pairs, typically between the ages of 18 and 26, can quickly become like older siblings for children in the host families they work with. They can keep up with young children’s natural energy, taking them to the library, museums, and playgrounds while providing one-on-one attention that only a loved family member can provide.

Many parents are surprised by how much their children learn from their au pair. This is a big part of why many families participate in the au pair program. But, as with anything that seems too good to be true, the au pair experience has challenges.

Know the Schedule of the Au Pair

A weekly schedule will help your au pair manage her time and work responsibilities. Remember that she cannot exceed 45 hours a week on childcare duties. Any time spent with the children, even sleeping, is considered work.

Walk her through your family’s rules in writing before her arrival so she can take the time to read them, understand and ask questions. Having the written handbook can also help reduce misunderstandings, especially when you walk her through things verbally. She is taking in a lot of information all at once.

Treat her like part of the family. Include her in dinners and other family events. Invite her to grab a coffee and generally make her feel valued.

This will help ease the transition and create a good working relationship. Also, make sure to have scheduled check-ins. So you can talk honestly about how it’s going and resolve any issues.

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About the author

About the author

Mike Taffet is a stepfather of three children – two boys and a girl. He enjoys writing about several topics, especially finances, stepparenting, and the blended family. Mike and his family call Florida home, and he’s a huge Atlanta Braves fan.

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Gerardo Campbell

I was born in America's heartland, Nebraska. I started this website out of desire to make a positive difference in the lives of stepfathers and their families. In 1995, I married my ex-wife and became a stepfather to her two children then 10 and 14. I have a biological son, Nathaniel and live in Bellevue, Nebraska.

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