What’s the first thing you think of when you hear “acceptance?” In reality, several definitions of acceptance range from job applications to everyday conversations. However, the psychological definition of acceptance has a deeper meaning that can significantly help your blended family. Keep reading to know the importance of acceptance.
What is Acceptance?
Many people have a good idea of what the dictionary definition of “acceptance” means. When looking at the dictionary definition alone, it means “the act of accepting something or someone.”
This is a positive concept that everyone should practice in their everyday lives. However, the psychological definition of acceptance is a little different.
Acceptance is a popular subject in wellness because it explores the idea of embracing everything about ourselves, including feelings. There are many elements in our lives that we learn to accept: finances, relationships, and career paths. However, psychological acceptance delves a bit deeper into this idea.
Psychological Acceptance
Psychological acceptance focuses more on the feelings and emotions we experience in the present moment. Negative emotions like sadness, anger and shame are all normal and can happen for several reasons. Without acceptance, we might sit in these negative situations until they elevate and make us anxious and stressed.
However, acceptance embraces the idea of acknowledging negative emotions when they happen. In turn, our ability to accept negative emotions allows us to reduce intense feelings of stress. To be clear, acceptance doesn’t mean you should let people treat you poorly. It’s mainly a way to accept the feelings of being treated poorly and let them go quickly.
Acknowledging Acceptance
Ironically, resisting acceptance can unintentionally lead to further psychological harm. Even so, negative emotions and feelings are an inevitable part of life. You’ll eventually experience anger, sadness, or grief at some point in your lifetime. But, because these feelings are often uncomfortable, our first reaction is to reject them.
Instead of resisting negative emotions, it’s important to acknowledge them and accept that they are happening. It’s also essential to understand the distinction between acceptance and distraction.
For example, scrolling through social media to avoid confronting negative feelings isn’t the same as acceptance; it’s a distraction. Instead, acceptance acknowledges that negative feelings are happening while allowing them to dissipate and calm your mind.
Enhancing Acceptance
If you’ve noticed a lack of acceptance in your personal life, there are many healthy ways to learn to accept yourself. Here are some ways that you can practice acceptance:
- Discover where you notice resistance. Do you binge-watch TV to distract yourself from negative emotions? These can be natural actions that we don’t even notice, but understanding where resistance happens can help you practice acceptance.
- View yourself as your inner child. If you notice yourself being more accepting of others than yourself, pretend you’re speaking with your younger self. This can allow you to be kind and gentle to yourself, enhancing acceptance.
- Practice, practice, practice. Acceptance is a skill that needs to be utilized in everyday situations. If you notice yourself feeling a certain negative emotion, use it as an opportunity to practice acceptance and process your feelings.
What is Self-Acceptance?
To learn more about acceptance, you have to understand self-acceptance. At first glance, self-acceptance may not sound much different than psychological acceptance.
However, it’s a separate concept in psychology that looks at the bigger picture of who a person is. By definition, self-acceptance is the ability completely accept yourself, both the positive and negative.
To emphasize, this includes your personality traits and behaviors. It’s easy to accept your positive traits, but it can be much harder to acknowledge your personality’s negative side.
You may want to improve a certain behavior or personality trait, but you can only do so by acknowledging its existence. Self-acceptance helps you understand yourself better.
Unconditional Self-Acceptance
At first glance, unconditional self-acceptance can seem daunting. This is because it embraces the concept of accepting ourselves at our lowest point, which can be uncomfortable. Even so, unconditional self-acceptance allows you to separate yourself from your flaws.
It’s okay to acknowledge your mistakes, but it’s important not to let them define you. Simply put, we’re all human, and we all make mistakes. Celebrating your accomplishments and the parts of yourself that are successful is easy.
Even so, having self-acceptance of our flawed traits helps us understand what needs to be improved. To start improving upon your flawed traits, you must accept your personality’s negative aspects.
Self-Esteem vs. Self-Acceptance
Self-esteem has a few distinct characteristics that set it apart from self-acceptance. Although they relate to our inner selves, self-esteem is not the same as self-acceptance. Self-esteem is more focused on how you feel about yourself. In addition, it emphasizes how valuable you feel about yourself.
You may have a lot of self-esteem without realizing that you don’t have self-acceptance. By contrast, self-acceptance is understanding and acknowledging everything about yourself. In reality, these concepts should work in tandem to help you better understand yourself. Vice versa, having self-acceptance can improve your self-esteem.
Examples of Self-Acceptance
Generally speaking, you’ll know that you’ve accomplished self-acceptance if you can evaluate yourself and accept everything about your personality, including your flaws. However, it can be helpful to have specific examples that give us a picture of what that might look like in practice. Some examples of self-acceptance may include the following:
- A person with low self-esteem begins to acknowledge their negative thoughts about themselves and realizes that they might not all be true.
- Someone feels disappointed by their performance at work after receiving constructive criticism from their leadership team. However, they realize that they may not consistently deliver at work, which doesn’t make them less of a person.
- A student getting undesired grades begins to accept that a certain area of study may not be their strength, and that’s okay. Instead, they begin to focus on the subjects in which they excel.
How Do You Learn to Accept the Past?
One of the hardest things to accept about ourselves is the actions we chose to take in the past. Unfortunately, time machines don’t currently exist, which means we can’t change the past. However, learning to accept the past and understand that it’s behind you can help you move forward in the present moment.
To be clear, accepting the past is undoubtedly easier said than done. It’s okay to experience grief and sadness as you go through the process of accepting your past. It can sometimes mean completely starting from scratch and moving forward with a clean slate. Nevertheless, accepting the past is a mature and healthy decision that will significantly help you.
Prioritize Your Needs
If you need to take some time to prioritize your needs to accept your past, that is perfectly fine. This may look like practicing self-care, distancing yourself from toxic people from your past, or focusing on improving yourself.
It may seem “selfish” at the moment, but these are all healthy practices that can help you move forward from your past. For example, if you’re trying to separate yourself from a previous relationship, it’s okay to state your needs and demand respect.
Stay in the Present
Consider talking about your past if it helps you heal in the present. If you’re having difficulty accepting your past, consider practicing mindfulness. This is a psychological method that helps you stay in the present moment.
Also, if you’re waiting for someone that hurt you to apologize, it’s essential to recognize that it may never happen. It doesn’t excuse their actions, but it can help you focus on healing in the present.
Your Past Doesn’t Dictate Your Future
We all make mistakes, but that makes us human. It’s okay to make mistakes to learn important life lessons. We wouldn’t criticize our friends for their past mistakes, so why should we do it to ourselves?
Be kind to yourself when addressing your past, and allow yourself to feel any emotions that come with it. Consider surrounding yourself with people who support you and accept you for all you are. Above all things, forgive yourself!
What Does it Mean to be an Accepting Stepparent?
Displaying Love and Compassion
The importance of acceptance cannot be over-emphasized in a blended family setting. Simply put, being an accepting stepparent means allowing your stepchildren to be their people without trying to change them. It’s learning to accept that you play an important role in their lives and allowing them to grow into the people they choose to be.
Being an accepting stepparent means loving your stepchildren, no matter what. This tells your stepchildren that they are valued and loved for who they are.
Fostering Connection
When you practice acceptance as a stepparent, you give your entire family permission to connect healthily. This can be especially true for older children and adolescents. Even if it’s well-intentioned, criticizing your stepchildren will only push them away.
You may have their best interests in mind, but they’ll want a parental figure that loves them for who they are. Thus, please focus on the positive aspects of their choices rather than the negative.
Being a Role Model
Practicing self-acceptance is essential not only for you but for your entire family. When you learn how to use self-acceptance, it encourages your stepchildren to follow your example. In turn, your children begin to accept themselves.
This can mean acknowledging your mistakes, being vulnerable with your family, and understanding how your actions affect others. Your stepchildren will learn from your example and practice self-acceptance in their own lives.
The Importance of Acceptance in a Blended Family Setting
Acceptance Strengthens Your Bond
Practicing acceptance in a blended family will help you bond with your stepchildren. For example, there will be certain things you’ll need to acknowledge as a stepparent. Accept that you may not have a perfect relationship with all your stepchildren, and that’s okay.
You may have stepchildren in various stages of their lives, making it harder to connect with them; instead of forcing them to act in a certain way, attempt to meet them where they’re at.
Acceptance Helps You Overcome Challenges
There’s no sugarcoating it – being a stepparent can be challenging. This can inevitably lead to a lot of negative feelings and discouragement. Instead of ignoring these negative feelings, allow yourself to experience them and figure out how to overcome these challenges.
Is this your first time being a parent? Is one of your stepchildren hesitant about your place in the family? Self-acceptance can help you be kind to yourself as you address these challenges.
Acceptance Strengthens Your Blended Family
No two blended families are the same, and you may experience many challenges. One of your stepchildren may be very welcoming, while another may be apprehensive. Instead of taking their behaviors personally, accept that they’re happening and display compassion.
Stepparenting can be a journey, but you’ll nurture a healthy blended family if you practice acceptance and compassion. Nevertheless, set boundaries and be as communicative as possible. Accept that they also may have other parental figures in their lives and understand when you need to take a step back.
