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Don’t Tell Me Your Kind – Show Me

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” ~ Wendy Mass


Every other Saturday, some guys I went to high school with meet for food and fellowship. Now that we’re in the heart of the college football season, we’ve been getting together nearly every weekend to root for our beloved Nebraska Cornhuskers.

Unfortunately, only three of us could make it on one particular gameday: Kevin, Pete, and yours truly. This particular Saturday, we met at the Ice House, a popular Omaha sports bar.

It was clear Kevin was irritated. He stated, “I have a big chunk of meat caught between my teeth, and I asked Mackenzie (our waitress) three times for toothpicks, and if she doesn’t bring any the next time she comes to our table, “I’m not tipping her!”

Shortly after hearing Kevin’s complaint, Pete got up and went to the bathroom, we thought. A few minutes later, Mackenzie brought a significant number of toothpicks to the table. Kevin was satisfied.

Upon Pete’s return, Kevin asks him whether he asked Mackenzie to bring the toothpicks. Enacting his best rendition of, “Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no lies posture,” Pete covered his mouth, declining to answer.

Mackenzie had served our table the previous weekend, so we had established a bit of a rapport with her. At that time, we learned Mackenzie is a young mother of two children.

Later in the afternoon, when we were cashing out, I took the opportunity to ask Mackenzie what her children’s ages were. Mackenzie shared they were one and a half months and eight months old. Besides working at the sports bar on the weekends, she works at a drugstore during the week.

I asked if her baby’s daddy was involved in the care of her babies, and she said no. She then added her family has stepped in to help her in the care of her children. Finally, I asked her how many hours of sleep she gets at night, and she said three to four.

Considering the few hours of sleep she gets nightly in addition to the everyday stress of work and single parenting, Kevin and I weren’t surprised she might have difficulty focusing and remembering.

The Importance of Kindness

What does my story have to do with kindness? Well, the act of kindness is to help others or yourself. This means genuinely putting others’ needs before your own.

Unfortunately, there’s so much happening in the world right now, which can get in the way of how we treat each other. Between current events and the global pandemic, kindness can feel like a thing of the past.

Even so, acts of kindness may be more critical than ever. It’s not just a trend; it can become a lifestyle. Moreover, kindness doesn’t have to be huge to make an impact.

Sometimes, acts of kindness can be as simple as giving up a seat for someone in need. We all deal with personal struggles, but even the most minor actions can make a big impact.

Health Benefits of Kindness

Acts of kindness aren’t just good for other people; it’s good for your health. If the idea of helping another person wasn’t appealing enough, it can also support your overall wellbeing. Research shows that being kind can improve self-esteem, happiness, and mental health. In addition, as children, kindness is biologically inherent to human behavior.

With practice, repetition, and consistency, this instinct can be strengthened. By practicing empathy, we also allow ourselves to create positive relationships with others.

Being kind to yourself can be just as important as being kind to others. By being kind to yourself, you’re improving personal self-esteem. Kindness is good for our health, and science proves it.

Longevity

Positive relationships with others can improve longevity and overall health. One contributing factor may include heart disease. Kindness can increase cardiovascular health since it encourages people to engage with others.

Have you ever heard of someone dying of a broken heart? This saying comes from the increased risk of heart disease for those who live in isolation.

This isn’t to say that you need a considerable amount of friends to have a long, healthy life. Many people can live introverted lifestyles without the need for constant social interactions.

What matters is how you interact with the people you have. By being kind to your friends and family, you become healthier.

Immune Health

Did you know that kind of activity may reduce inflammation? According to a 2014 study, acts of kindness like volunteering may reduce inflammation in the body.

Inflammation can be a contributing factor to many conditions. These can include cancer, diabetes, obesity, and chronic pain.

With that said, something as simple as volunteering at your local animal shelter can increase immune health. Kindness can literally prevent infectious and chronic diseases.

This is thanks to the release of oxytocin, the hormone responsible for building trust and empathy. Oxytocin naturally reduces inflammation, resulting in better immune responses.

Happiness

When you’ve done something nice for someone else, have you observed how your body reacts to it? More often than not, you’ll get a feeling of pleasure that makes you happy. This is not coincidental. It’s a neurological reaction to kindness.

This is from the transmission of serotonin and endorphins into your body. You may already be familiar with endorphins, the chemicals commonly released during exercise.

This is what makes you feel less stressed when participating in active pastimes. Meanwhile, serotonin is the hormone that stabilizes our mood. That paired with endorphins gives us the “helper’s high,” the feeling of exhilaration after performing an act of kindness.

Stress and Anxiety

Anxiety and/or chronic stress can be debilitating for people who live with it. However, there are many healthy ways to cope with forms of anxiety.

Some of these can include meditation, prescription medications, or exercise. In addition, you may not know that performing acts of kindness can be a natural way of relieving anxiety.

Helping others can give us a break from stressors that trigger anxiety. This can also improve affiliative behavior, decreasing symptoms associated with social anxiety.

By having positive relationships with the people around us, we decrease stress in our own lives. Sometimes, even the smallest act of holding a door open for another person can reduce anxiety symptoms.

Acts of Kindness for Kids

It’s essential to be positive role models for your children. Teaching them about kindness and the benefits of having empathy for others encourages them to pass it on.

Kindness is more important than ever, especially with the global pandemic. Many people are struggling, meaning it’s essential to show compassion towards others.

It may seem challenging to get your children involved with acts of kindness, but it’s pretty simple. Of course, it’s always important to use discretion.

Make sure you choose activities that are age-appropriate. But, depending on the acts of kindness, consider getting the entire family involved. Here are some kid-friendly acts of kindness:

  • Open a door open for others
  • Encourage them to clean up a mess they didn’t make
  • Donate old belongings they’ve grown out of
  • If your child is growing out their hair, have them consider donating it for charities that make wigs for children with illnesses
  • Volunteer at the local soup kitchen, food pantry, or animal shelter
  • Visit with people at the local nursing home (could vary with COVID-19 protocol)
  • Pick up litter
  • Offer to help an elderly neighbor with basic chores
  • Place kindness rocks around your neighborhood

Acts of Kindness at School

Kindness is contagious but in a positive way. Teach your children to be kind to their classmates, and they’ll return the favor. Teach them to appreciate their school teachers and encourage them to participate in extracurricular activities that promote kindness.

Be a role model by displaying kindness to their school teachers and classmates. Be welcoming to friends they make at school. Teach your children to respect their teachers by showing it yourself.

Instead of immediately blaming their teacher for bad behavior, figure out what’s going on with your children. Here are some kind things they can do at school:

  • Encourage them to let others go in front of them when waiting for food or to go outside
  • Have them help out a classmate with homework
  • If they notice a classmate has dropped something, encourage them to pick it up and give it back to them
  • Help them write thank you notes for their teachers
  • Remind them to say “please” and “thank you” to their teachers, lunch staff, and bus drivers
  • Encourage them to also offer to help their teachers clean up
  • Teach them lots of school-appropriate jokes to make people laugh
  • Volunteer the family to run a bake sale to raise money for school-related activities

Acts of Kindness at Home

Children are usually kind and empathetic by nature. Even so, it all starts with you. Some of the most random acts of kindness can happen in the comforts of your own home.

By teaching them to be kind to you, they’ll also be kind to others. Much like a muscle, acts of kindness need to be nourished and practiced daily.

As mentioned above, these forms of kindness don’t need to be huge. For example, if your child cleans up their toys without asking, that’s an act of kindness. But, if they’re interested in something a little bigger, encourage them to go after it.

For instance, older children may be interested in learning how to cook. Thus, teaching them how to be kind can be good for them and the people they interact with. Here are some great ways children can be kind at home:

  • Help them send a handwritten letter to a friend or family member
  • Clear the table after a big meal
  • Complete a household chore that’s not their own
  • Have them read a book to their younger sibling
  • Make a handmade gift for any of their family members
  • Write a genuine apology letter when they’ve done something wrong

I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you’ll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you’ll make something that didn’t exist before you made it, that you will be loved, and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind ~Neil Gaiman

About the author

About the author

Gerardo Campbell is a Nebraska native who now calls Silicon Valley, California home. In 1995, Gerardo married his wife Roberta aka the Pretty Lady, and became the stepdad to her two children. In 2011, he started the website Support for Stepfathers in an effort to reverse the nearly 70% divorce rate for blended families in the United States. His website is to help and inspire stepfathers, aspiring stepfathers, and the women who love them worldwide. You can follow Support for Stepdads on Twitter @support4stepdad and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/resourcesforstepfathers.

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