The majority of stepmothers unselfishly invest emotionally, physically, and financially to raise a child that isn’t theirs. Many times, the sacrifices stepmoms make are not even acknowledged.
Asides from the challenges a new stepmom faces, they are also told hurtful words that can tear anyone apart. Remember, a stepmom shouldn’t be blamed for taking a chance at love even when it comes with bonus kids.
Blended families are becoming a norm these days. But it doesn’t make it easier for people to comprehend the challenges that come with making a stepfamily work. It’s a collective effort from the parents and kids, hence no one’s effort should be disregarded or downplayed
Here’re five things you should never say to a stepmom
1. You’re Not my Mom
Now, imagine the impact when in a fit of anger or frustration, their stepchild tells their stepmother, “You’re not my mom!”
I suspect a stepmother hearing this from their stepchild is the equivalent of them spitting in their face. I feel, “You’re not my mom!” should never be said to your stepmother, especially if she’s making a sincere effort to parent her stepchildren.
It’s unlikely that your stepmom will be trying to take your mother’s place. Her priority will be to ensure the home runs smoothly. As a bystander or stepchild, the least you can do is commend her efforts.
2. Your Opinion doesn’t Count
Telling a stepmom her opinion doesn’t count or shouldn’t matter is one of the most hurtful things to say. A stepmom is an integral part of a blended family. Many of the decisions regarding the family will definitely need her input.
In many cases, a stepmom may have no legal right to her stepchild. However, this shouldn’t mean a stepmom should be left out in arrangements or decisions affecting her personally or the entire household.
3. Stay Out of It
It’s typical for the other bio parent, stepkids, or even a spouse to yell these words ‘stay out of it’ to a stepparent during conflicts. Working as a team in a blended family is crucial for its sustenance and a healthy family union.
So, as a spouse, you should never say this to your partner. Not only is it hurtful, but it creates an impression of disunity between you and your spouse to your kids. Likewise, do not give your Ex the opportunity to make your spouse feel excluded.
4. You Knew What you were Getting Into
No one truly knows what to expect when starting a blended family. You sort of just wing it. Yes, you envisage the challenges and prepare. However, you might still be taken aback by the rollercoaster of emotions you’d feel when you finally become a stepparent.
It’s unfair to hurl these words at a stepmom doing everything to raise a family and nurture another woman’s children.
5. You Don’t Have Kids, so You Can’t Understand
This may be well-intended but can come off as insensitive and condescending. Stepmoms can form a healthy connection and successfully parent their stepkids, even without experiencing childbirth. It doesn’t also mean they can’t emphasize with other issues around biological motherhood.
When a stepmom decides to marry a man with kids, she automatically sees herself as a mom and prepares for mom duties. Like a bio mom, a stepmom can be generous, loving, and protective.
Stepmoms are truly special and should be acknowledged and given more credited. Here are the top three birthday gifts for your stepmom.
